Page 41 of Knox

“Are you gonna tell me what made you want that? I wanted to spank you tonight, but I wasn’t planning the intensity you wanted. Not that I minded—you know how much I love making you fly.” He’s serving up our dinner. He had the sense to place it in the oven.

I accept the bottle of beer he hands me and think of the best way to explain. I can’t come up with anything sensible, so it’s easier to ramble on. “Maddox. I think he’s been making a nest in my head. All I do is keep going over and over why he walked away. Him coming in today had him bursting out and filling my brain with all I want to say. But he wasn’t coming back, and I don’t think he ever will.”

Knox hands me my burger and fries, and damn, it smells awesome. The first bite floods my mouth with flavour; I groan and attack it. Knox laughs but does the same. After swallowing the first bite, he puts in back on his plate. “I have something to tell you about Maddox. It’s not the best news, but I think you’ll agree at it making sense.”

“I’m not sure I want to know. I’m still blissed out with pain.” It’s true. I think whatever Knox has to say is going send me right back again. All the signs of him wanting to join us were good, they were great, then all it took was him watching us to get it all wrong. Then again, if he doesn’t say anything, I’m going to think up all sorts of scenarios. I start eating again, one chip at a time. “Go on, tell me.”

“I saw him in the King’s Head. He was with Ollie; he was kissing Ollie.”

I did not expect that. “Oh, do you think they’re together? Is this why he turned us down? When…when…” I don’t know what to say. I’m confused, why does Knox think it makes sense? “Where does it make sense?”

“He wants what we have. He wants to love and be loved as well as get down and dirty. We can get together and play. He won’t feel like he’s just a third.”

The image of me and Ollie sucking each other off, a tangle of limbs, the comments of deeper, choke on it makes me feel hot, and I know I’ll be turning red. But if Maddox wants love, he may also not want to share.

“You see it too. You’re blushing,” Knox says as he runs the back of his finger down my cheek. “I bet they’ll be talking about it too.”

I’m not so sure. Ollie has been wanting his own Dom for a long time. Probably the same as me, and he’ll want to hang on tight. He won’t want the touch of another man until he knows Maddox is his for good.

“I think it would be a great idea to send out an invitation to join us. What do you think?” Knox is excited about this. Why?

I want to be at Bound with my Dom. I’m not a toy he can play with any way he wants. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. Subs don’t always want to play. They want the attention of their Dom to be only on them.”

He frowns, the deep crease between his eyebrow prominent. I think I’ve surprised him. “You love being shared; we’ve done it so many times over the years.”

“Yes, we have and I do, but I was single then. Now we’re exploring a new thing. I like showing off to others, but I’m in love with you. And even if we never share again, I’d still be happy.”

His frown doesn’t go away; he’s confused, and it’s adorable. I give in and reach out to take his hand. “Stop overthinking. You’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve loved everything we’ve done. It is a little different for us as we’ve been doing this for a long time. Maddox hasn’t and that’s different. I think the important thing to do is clear the air with them. They didn’t expect to see you there and are probably freaking out. We can see him at the gym. I don’t think Ollie is a member, so you should give him a membership. We can all work out together.”

“When did you get so smart?” He leans over and kisses me gently.

“I’ve always been smart; you haven’t been paying attention.” I smirk, and he laughs; all the seriousness of the conversation has gone.

“I love you, smarty pants.”

It’s not until Thursday that I see Maddox come to the gym. It’s half past eight, and I’ve just finished my yoga class, and I’m sitting on Knox’s knee. He doesn’t make any move to come to the office, heading towards the weight section. Knox calls out to him before he walks too far away, and I have to get off Knox’s knee.

“Can I have a word?” Knox askes when Maddox turns around.

When Maddox comes to the door, he looks resigned. “What’s up?”

“Hello, Maddox,” I say, ignoring his rudeness. “It’s good to see you.”

“Yeah, sorry, you too. I’m sorry I’ve not spoken to you lately.”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Knox points to the chair across the desk from us.

I told Knox this wasn’t the way to go about addressing what he saw, but he was adamant and looking at the annoyance on Maddox’s handsome face, I was right.

“If this is about Sunday at the pub, I can kiss and date anyone I want to.”

“Of course you can, and Ollie is a great guy. I wanted to give you this.” He reaches for an envelope on the desk and hands it to Maddox.

“You’re cancelling my membership? Jesus, Knox, I didn’t take you for petty.”

“It’s full membership for Ollie; I thought you might like to work out together.”

Maddox drops his head with a little shake. “I’m sorry. I just keep making mistake after mistake with you, and you, Roman. Ollie told me I was overthinking it, that it wouldn’t be a problem. But after saying no to you twice, I didn’t expect anything else.” He looks at the envelope and smiles. “I can pay you for this; you don’t have to give it away.”