Page 7 of Sex On A Plate

SCOTT’S BANANAS FOSTER

DIFFICULTY: If you have a problem peeling bananas, this is going to really suck.

TIME: 6 minutes.

What you’ll need from the cupboard: A Skillet, a knife, and a spoon. 2 bowls at the ready. Ice cream scoop.

What you’ll need from the pantry: Vanilla extract. 3 not quite ripe bananas. Vanilla ice cream. 1/4 of a cup of chopped pecans. Cinnamon. Myer’s Dark Rum (or equal). 2/3 of a cup of brown sugar. 1/2 a stick of unsalted butter.

* * *

Bananas Foster. It’s the only way I’ll eat a banana. In fact, I fucking hate bananas. That is, unless they’re cooked in rum and covered in ice cream.

Fuck, this dessert is good.

Here we go.

This serves two HUNGRY people, or three who just want a basic-sized dessert. Basic-sized desserts are for twatwaffles.

Don’t be a twatwaffle.

Peel the bananas. Slice the bananas lengthwise. Cut the half slices in half. Not lengthwise. Crosswise. So now you’ve got 12 little short guys.

Heat the 1/2 a stick of butter in the skillet over low heat until melted.

Add 2/3 cup of brown sugar, 1-1/2 teaspoons of vanilla extract, and 4 tablespoons of rum. Stir well. Add pecans. Stir well, until sugar is dissolved.

When it all starts to bubble, add the bananas.

Cook for an additional 2 minutes-ish, spooning the mixture over the bananas while they’re heating. All you’re doing here is cooking the bananas until they’re hot, so no worries about undercooking. It’s a common misconception that you’re cooking the alcohol off.

It takes much longer than this to perform that task, so it’s not happening here, sorry.

You’ll have to enjoy rum-soaked bananas.

When the bananas are cooked (2 minutes), spoon six of the 1/4 slices into each bowl if serving two people. Give each person 4 if serving three people. If serving a dozen, give everyone a slice.

Top with ice cream. This is where the scoop comes in handy.

Eat immediately.

One of my all-time favorites. Simple, but as satisfying as bad sex.

Enjoy.