Page 6 of Sex On A Plate

Add 2 cups of Cool Whip on top of the vanilla pudding, and don’t spread it evenly. Spread it, but make it look like the top of a lemon meringue pie.

Something.

Make it look like a bunch of moon craters, I don’t really give a damn. But if it’s your intention to make it smooth, you’ll either fail or you’ll be dicking with it for a really long fucking time.

It’s. Just. Not. Worth. It.

Place the chocolate bar on the cutting board, flat side up. Situate the bar the same as you situate casserole dishes.

Long side left, long side right, short side away from you and near you, remember?

Get your sharp knife.

Point the sharp side of the knife at the chocolate with the blade situated from left to right. This would make the blade perpendicular to the chocolate in all respects.

With the knife’s edge at 90-degrees from the face of the chocolate, drag the knife toward you while applying pressure to the chocolate.

Your desire is to scrape away the chocolate, causing it to curl up. If that’s what’s happening, you’re winning. You’re making chocolate shavings. By fucking hand! It’s easier than you thought, huh?

After you’ve surprised yourself by making a few handfuls of them, stop.

Sprinkle your chocolate curls/shavings on top of the Cool Whip.

Cover with Saran Wrap and refrigerate for 3 or so hours.

Cut with a knife and serve with a spatula.

HPPF? Want to know what it means?

Holy.

Pecan.

Pudding.

Fuck.

Yeah, it’s THAT good.

Eat it with someone you love. They’ll love you right back after the first bite. If you’re eating it with a man who you’re trying to impress for the first time, rest assured you won’t have to suck his cock to keep him happy.

All you’ll have to do is hand him another slice of this delightful dessert.

Enjoy.