Page 33 of Lease to Love

They were mine.

“Shit.”

I shut the journal.

I tucked it back into the filing desk drawer and wiped my face with the heel of my hand before the tears could turn into something bigger.

I closed my eyes.

One breath.

Two.

Three.

In.

Out.

Again.

I stood there until the pressure in my chest loosened enough for me to breathe normally.

When I opened my eyes, I felt calmer.

Still raw.

But calmer.

I exhaled.

“Shit. Now I'm sad again.”

I looked toward my phone.

“Let me distract myself.”

I picked it up automatically and opened my favorite social-media app and started scrolling.

Mindlessness. That was the goal.

I scrolled past four get ready with me videos, three obviously AI-generated cat videos, somebody's grandmother doing the Dougie at a funeral, and a skit about mega churches that was entirely too funny for me to be laughing as hard as I was.

I scrolled again… Then stopped.

My thumb froze against the screen.

Ayo.

LIVE.

His face filled the screen, and behind him… There was little miss side bitch.

Wearing the chain I'd bought him for his birthday.

The one he'd kissed me for when I gave it to him.

Smiling.