Page 196 of Johnny

“But I believed them! That’s the part that pisses me off! I believed them, and did what they asked,

and it’s not over. I was so fucking stupid!”

She sits up and looks down at me. And the fear on her face makes me shudder. “Don’t you get it?”

she whispers. “I want you, Johnny Boston. I want you. And now I’m going to lose you too. And I can’t

do it anymore. I just can’t!”

I reach out and put my arms around her. Pull her down into my chest. She struggles against me, still

trying to get all the words out. But I hold her tight anyway.

“Shhh,” I say, petting her hair. “Shhh.”

She’s sobbing now. Maybe still talking, but if she is I can’t understand what she’s saying.

“I get it,” I say. “I want you too.”

“You’re lying. You need me and my secrets.”

“I do,” I admit. “I’m not gonna lie about that. If you’ve got something that can help me, then I need

it. But I’m not gonna sell you out, Megan. I won’t leave you behind. I have never had anyone standing

next to me before. Until you. Not even Logan was there like you are. And I’m not going to let them

take you. Even if I can somehow make a deal with them, I won’t sell you out and leave you behind. I

promise.”

Her shoulders drop. Her crying stops. Mostly stops. “You will,” she says. “And it won’t even be

your fault. It’ll just be the right thing to do.”

“What do you mean?” I say. “The right thing? That’s not true.”

“You say that now because you don’t understand what we’ve done.”

“Who?”

“My father and me.”

“OK,” I say, drawing in a deep breath. “Can you just start from the beginning, please?”

“The beginning?” she says. “I’m not even sure where that is anymore. All I know is that I’m part of

something big, and deep, and evil, and there’s no way to get me out of this now. The whole fucking

plan hinges on the fact that if they kill us…”

But she stops. Blows out a long breath of air.

“If they kill you what, Megan? What happens if they kill you?”

“Then it’s over.”

“What’s over?”