Page 62 of The Boyfriend Experience

“So you need a partner in crime?” Vivi asks.

“Exactly,” I say. “And Oaklee is that perfect partner.”

“How long have you guys known each other?” Vivi asks. “Not long, from my guess, because you’ve never mentioned him before and I’m not hitting on you or anything, Law, but you’re hot. She’d have mentioned you.”

“It’s recent,” Oaklee says. “But it’s perfect.” She smiles at me. “I have something he needs and he has something I need and so it’s… just… perfect.”

“Wait,” Vivi says. “What do you need from him?”

Vivi is a smart cookie. She gets that the nervous glances Oaklee and I are trading are a clue that there’s more to this story than we’re telling.

“Come on,” she says. “What the fuck is going on?”

Oaklee sighs. Loudly. Then pulls up the rolling stool and says, “OK, but if I tell you, promise not to laugh at me.”

Vivi crosses her heart with one black-gloved finger.

“I’m playing Jordan’s Game with him.”

“What?” Now Vivi—who is probably not a chick you can shock easily—looks shocked. “You two are playing a sex game?”

“You know about Jordan?” I ask. Probably the wrong question for this particular sideways conversation, but I’m so fucking curious.

“Everyone knows about that deviant.” Vivi laughs. “One of the showroom guys tried to buy a game from him a few months back, but he couldn’t afford it. So how much you paying for this?” Vivi asks Oaklee.

“That’s not the point. And it’s not a sex game. It’s a get-even-with-Hanna-Harlow game.”

“So you two aren’t…” Vivi makes a rude gesture to indicate fucking. Oaklee blushes bright pink. Which has Vivi guffawing again. “You are! You little sex kitten.” Then she looks at me. “I’ve tried to set her up with a dozen guys to get her out of this funk she’s been in the past couple years and she’s turned me down every time. So good on you, Lawton. Way to go!”

Where to take the conversation from there?

Never mind. Moot point. Because Vivi is now quizzing Oaklee on our plan to take down Hanna.

Which, after much cajoling, Oaklee cops to.

Thirty minutes later, Vivi, apparently satisfied she’s gotten all the dirt while she’s been drawing on my arm with a needle, says, “It’s not a great plan. You need more, you guys. You need a class in advanced take-down methods. Baiting her to fall for Lawton?” She glances at me. “No offense, Law. You’re totally hot and I’d gladly fall into your trap. But I’m a bit of a slut and not nearly as suspicious as Hanna. She’s never going to take the bait, you guys. You need to like… break into her place and find her recipes. That’s the kind of proof you need.”

“That’s ridiculous,” I say, laughing off her dumb suggestion.

But when I look at Oaklee, she’s quiet.

“You’re not considering this?” I ask.

“Of course she is,” Vivi says. “Ridiculous is how Oaklee rolls. Listen now, here’s a plan you should consider…”

And that’s what we do. We listen to Vivian Lee Vaughn, pink-haired tattoo artist extraordinaire, tell us exactly how to earn ourselves three to five years in state prison with a plan so crazy, it’s not even worth mentioning here.

I stay quiet. Mostly because Oaklee is quiet too. And also because once you get Vivi talking about her crash course in how to become an outlaw, it’s hard to interrupt her.

“That’s what I’d do,” Vivi says, once she’s finally done. And then she rolls back on her stool, takes off her gloves with a loud snap, and says. “So… what do you think?”

“About your crazy plan?” I ask, still dumbfounded at what I just heard.

“No, dummy.” She laughs. “Your tat. It’s done. For now. You’re gonna need to come see me again in about four weeks and we’ll do the other arm. Then we’ll start on the chest and back pieces. Let me get you some aftercare stuff.”

With that she stands up and leaves the room.

I look at Oaklee. She looks back at me. I say, “We’re in agreement that her plan is insane, right?”