Page 61 of The Boyfriend Experience

“Give me some credit.” Vivi laughs. “I drink beer. Anyone who didn’t notice that Buffed Up was just a knock-off of Bucked Up is an idiot.”

“Right!” Oaklee exclaims. “How do people not see that?”

Vivi stops working and looks up at Oaklee. Her headlight shines in Oaklee’s eyes for a moment, which makes Oaklee put up a hand to shield them. Vivi adjusts her light and says, “I dunno. It’s weird, that’s for sure. And I heard she came in here earlier bitching about Shrike Bar not putting it on tap.”

“What happened?” Oaklee asks.

“The usual Hanna meltdown. Lots of drama. Lots of promises. Lots of bullshit.”

“So what was the decision?” I ask.

Vivi smiles. “No way is that cheating bitch gonna get her foot in this door. She just wants our tap because of the TV show.”

“What TV show?” Oaks and I ask at the same time.

“The new Shrike Bikes show. My cousin Oliver decided to take the Biker Channel up on their offer to do a show. Spencer did one years ago and got tired of it. But now that Oliver’s in charge, looks like he’s in.”

“Interesting,” I say. I guess I’m not the only guy in Colorado who wants to shake things up.

“Very interesting,” Oaklee echoes. “I had no idea people were so into doing these reality shows.”

“People?” Vivi asks, back working now. I sorta hate it when she stops. Like… I get used to the constant pain, so a break makes it worse once she starts up again. “Who else is doing a show?”

“Lawton,” Oaklee says. Smiling down at me.

“Both of us,” I remind her.

“Really?” Vivi asks. “Tell me more about this new venture, Oaklee. You didn’t mention it last month when I saw you at that party.”

“Oh, this is all Lawton,” Oaklee says. “He needs a partner and I needed a favor, so we decided to team up.”

“It’s for Home TV,” I say. “They like partners, ya know? And Oaklee is like the perfect local girl to host with me.”

Vivi looks over at me, her drawing paused. Then she looks at Oaklee. Back at me. And says, “Yeah, you two are like the perfect couple. I can totally see it. But Home TV? What the fuck kind of show would a beer heiress and a—what do you do again?”

“Real estate,” I say.

She laughs. “For real?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I dunno. I’d have pegged you as a musician or something. You look like a rock-star biker. What’s up with that?”

I glance at Oaklee and she sighs.

“It’s a long story,” I say. Because I can tell Oaklee doesn’t want to talk about our little boyfriend game. “But my pitch to the Home TV people is about selling multi-million-dollar mountain homes. You know, the great escape dream and shit like that.”

“Because why?” Vivi asks.

“Because I’m tired of selling houses. I want do something more… colorful, I guess.”

Vivi stops again, looks at me, moves her headlight so it’s not shining in my eyes, and says, “So you woke up one day and said, ‘I think I’ll be a TV star?’”

And then she laughs again. This time a full-on guffaw.

Which makes me laugh, because it is pretty ridiculous. And then Oaklee joins in.

“I know,” I say. “I get it. But I’ve been planning this for a long time. And the meeting with Home TV is this Thursday. This is the big one, ya know. The one where they come see me in my natural habitat and decide if I’m a good fit.”