Page 107 of Deck the Hauls

“The burger would be great, thank you.”

George pushed her chair in and took our empty coffee cups back to the counter. As she passed Hannah, she whispered something to her, and Hannah laughed.

My heart ached. I wanted that.

As soon as I finished my burger, I’d head back to the cabin and chop some more wood. Hopefully that would channel my pain into something more productive.

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

EMILY

I lit the Christmas Tree Farm candle sitting beside the Sapphire Springs snow globe on the windowsill. The familiar scent of fir filled the kitchen and my chest ached.

What was Dana doing now? Was she sitting alone in her living room reading a book about fir maintenance or making herself an omelet? Or perhaps out chopping wood? Tears pricked my eyes.

Dana had clearly been missing her family. Had she really decided she wasn’t ready to go back home, or was there another reason?

Hopefully she’d go over to Roz and Olivia’s for dinner at least…but probably not, knowing Dana.

Suddenly, the Christmas music playing out of Mom’s portable speaker felt a little less festive.

“Is everything okay?” Lucia asked.

I turned to Lucia, standing in her apron next to the counter with balls of rich dark rum ball mixture ready to dip into coconut in front of her.

I sighed. She’d had been so busy preparing for and then embarking on her road trip from LA to Brooklyn and I’d been so busy declining calls to be interviewed about Phillip, dodging insistent reporters who randomly showed up on my parents’ doorstep and throwing myself into extra restaurant shifts to take my mind off Dana and Phillip, that we hadn’t had a lot of time to speak since Dana left. When Lucia arrived yesterday afternoon in the moving van, we’d been in the midst of preparing for our Christmas Eve dinner, so there’d been no opportunity to catch up. In some ways, I’d been relieved not to have to talk about it. But talking to Lucia often helped.

“I was just thinking about Dana. She’s spending Christmas by herself.”

Lucia frowned. “That’s not good.” She glanced at her watch. “Could you invite her here?”

Dana here, with me., exclaiming over the food, laughing with my family, her leg pressing against mine under the table, sharing my favorite day of the year. Warmth filled my chest only to be quickly replaced by a cold hopelessness.

I shook my head. “No.”

That would be too dangerous, especially given the current media attention on me.

“You never really told me what happened. Last I heard, you’d basically moved in with her and then you were suddenly just friends again.”

I’d purposefully avoided giving Lucia the details.

“Well, you know…” I dipped a rum ball into the bowl of coconut. “I don’t want to come out publicly, and with Phillip threatening to ruin me and the media attention, we—I—thought it was better if we just stayed friends.”

“Oh, Em.” Lucia’s gazed at me with a pained expression on her face.

My heart ached as I remembered Dana sitting opposite me in the chalet above the Rockefeller ice rink, her face drawn as I told her to go back to Sapphire Springs.

I winced. Dana had done so much for me, and then I’d just sent her away.

I shoved another rum ball in the coconut and then placed it on the tray.

“Whoa, you’re in a ball-breaking mood!” Dad said as he appeared in the hallway, chuckling.

I stared at him. What the hell was he talking about? Had he started on the eggnog already? I followed his gaze down to the counter, where I’d mashed three rum balls together and had been working them with my hands. Ah.

“Present time!” Dad lifted the moka pot from the stove. “Bring your coffee mugs in and I’ll give you a refill.”

We scrubbed our hands to remove the sticky mixture and then made our way into the living room, where presents were stacked under the tree.