Page 193 of Buy Back My Love

Eight hours after we walked into that hospital, my nurse checked me again and smiled.

“Well, Mama. It’s time.”

Every bit of joking left my body.

I stared at her. “Time like… time?”

“You’re having your baby.”

My heart started beating so hard I could hear it. Mama was on her feet before the nurse even finished talking, and Van came closer to my bed as soon as he saw my face.

“Hey.” He waited until I looked at him. “Myles is good.”

I nodded. I knew that. The monitor said he was good. The nurses said he was good. The doctor said he was good. But I had heard all of that before.

People started moving around the room, getting everything ready. Mama pulled her phone out and asked me one more time if I still wanted her to record.

“Yeah.” If this day ended differently, I wanted something I could look back on.

By the time they put my legs up and told me to push, I had Van’s hand locked in mine so hard I’m surprised I didn’t break something.

“Come on, Lee,” he said beside me. “You got it.”

I pushed until they told me to stop, sucked in as much air as I could, then did it again. The whole time, I prayed. I didn’t ask God for anything complicated. I didn’t care what Myles looked like. I didn’t care how much he weighed. I didn’t care if he came out looking like a wrinkled little old man with an attitude. I just needed one thing.

Please let him cry.

“Again,” my doctor told me.

I pushed until my whole body shook. Somewhere behind me, Mama was crying while she recorded. Van kept telling me I was doing good, but all I could hear was my own breathing and that one prayer repeating in my head.

Please let him cry.

“One more big push, Lee.”

I squeezed Van’s hand, shut my eyes, and gave it everything I had.

Then I heard him scream. Loud as hell, angry as hell, and alive.

My eyes flew open. “Oh my God.”

My baby came into the world screaming like somebody had personally offended him by making him leave my uterus, and I started crying before they even put him on my chest.

“My baby.”

He was warm and wet and mad as hell, his little face all scrunched up while I touched everywhere I could reach.

“Hey, Myles.” My voice cracked. “Hey, baby.”

He screamed louder.

I laughed through my tears. “That’s right. Keep making all that noise.”

Mama wasn’t even pretending she wasn’t crying anymore. She stood behind her phone sobbing right along with me.

Then I looked at Van. His eyes were wet too.

“You crying?”