Page 49 of Black Ledger

I didn’t know when or how he had clawed his roots deep into my heart, but he had. And I was rooted to the spot, watching him like a willow tree with all its branches swinging in the wind. Sad but beautiful. Strong, yet whimsical.

Who was I kidding? I wasn’t whimsical. I wished I could be. I wished I could be vibrant, funny, and flirty, but I didn’t know how. I was serious all the time because emotions and anything “girly” got me punished. I was supposed to be like one of the guys, and so I had become this… whatever this was.

Stilted, severe, and boring.

Even after two years of freedom and two years of college.

Too boring for Severin, who exuded charm, sex, and charisma. He lived life as if nothing could go wrong, turning everything into an adventure. How he managed to have a personality that overflowed and dripped on everything and everyone, I couldn’t tell you, especially since he was beaten by his father so often.

He should’ve been broody like me.

But he wasn’t.

That was mostly infuriating.

He was the whimsical willow tree.

I took another long drag. I probably needed to stop smoking pot. I didn’t want to get too high. But before I could stamp out the joint, the flavor of the week—day—cried out, and Severin tapped her thigh like a masseuse at the end of a massage session.

“Now, that was fun, but run along before my guard thinks it would be far more fun to slit your throat than watch you cum.”

The girl’s gaze landed on me, and I might have been a little too intimidating because she quickly pulled down her dress, which barely covered her, and ran off into the house without a second glance.

“That wasn’t very charitable,” I said, my voice harsh.

“And neither is your expression, Zaya. You look like you’re going to kill her.”

“That’s always my expression.”

“Oh, I know.” He laughed and stood, his shirt pulling tight across his muscles with the movement. “Your resting murder face.”

He slowly—oh so frustratingly slowly—sauntered over to me like a peacock strutting his feathers, and just like a male peacock, he was stunning. Without warning, when he reached me, he stole my joint, popped it between his lips, and took a long, slow drag.

Well, fuck.

“Keep it.” I waved it away as he tried to give it back to me. “I have no interest in tasting her pussy.”

He clicked his tongue. “Jealous?”

“No.” Yes, but he didn’t need to know that. My lips fell into an even more severe line, and he inched closer, boxing me against the wall. It should have made me uncomfortable, considering it mirrored what had just happened with Chad.

But I wasn’t uncomfortable. I felt safe with Severin, and more than that, I was excited.

That was the problem.

“Liar.”

He clutched my chin and tried to run his thumb along my lip, but I turned my face, broke free of his grip, and ducked under his arm, pressing myself against the edge of the pool. I steadied my feet so I wouldn’t fall in.

“You do not get to touch me with hands that were just on another woman or a mouth that was between her thighs. You may not have standards, but I do. If you want to touch me, wash yourself.”

He raised one very manicured eyebrow. “Who said I wanted to touch you?”

“No one.” I shook my head. I was acting foolish and jealous, but I was also right. It was gross. “Except that you were trying to touch me.”

“Was I?” He prowled closer like a predator about to strike, and I knew I was in trouble.

Two seconds later, when my fully clothed body hit the water, I knew just how much trouble I was in. He’d pushed me into the pool, and my head sank underwater as he jumped in after me.