Page 74 of The Bartender Special

It was only after he reminded himself that Jack had spent several hours alone with him the day before and hadn't tried to re-create their kiss, or more—which was good considering they had been in Roger’s future baby’s nursery—that Benny let go of his thirst and thought about the future.

Which, if Carol was around, would probably include an embarrassing story about Benny's past.

Because he had, for whatever reason, decided to blog about everything.

And she might have said she didn’t have the time to read it, but Benny doubted that was actually true.

“I lost my virginity to this guy on his family's boat when we were seventeen,” Benny dove in, body turned to face a wide-eyed Jack. “We were your average horny teens and thought that we would just die if we didn't do the deed. His family had this little speedboat and a dock where it was tied off at, and we decided that was where we could do it without being caught. So we waited until it was night and I snuck out to meet him there.”

Jack was starting to grin.

If he was looking for a salacious story, Benny was about to disappoint him.

“I was so nervous beforehand though that I'd searched online for a what to expect kind of thing and read way too many forum posts. Then Ethan even had us watch this video to help calm his own nerves about me doing it—don't ask why he was nervous, best friend solidarity, I guess—when Callum walked in on us watching it together and I’m pretty sure if being flustered could kill you, he would have gone straight to ground then. It was mortifying.” Benny paused, remembering. “Though, later that night, Callum did offer to talk about it if I needed to. He’d also done some research. Which I turned down but thanked him for. See? I’m not lying when I say he’s a good brother.”

Jack nodded, still grinning. “That actually is pretty sweet of him.”

“Yeah, well, all that prep didn't help much.” Benny could feel a new kind of mortification greasing his wheels. Had he not put it out for the entire world to know already, he wouldn’t be saying a ding dang word about this now.

“So, this guy didn't bring a blanket for the night, and I was too nervous to bring anything other than, thankfully, the condom and supplies. Which meant the only spaces we had that weren’t insanely uncomfortable to thrust against were the two cushions on the captain's and passenger's chairs. And they weren't even next to each other.” Benny shook his head. “Anyway, we ended up doing this awkward tangled-up thing sitting on the captain's chair and it wasn't pretty. And then, at one point, the steering wheel thing, which was this weird U-shape, dug into my back and hurt like hell. I yelled out at it and, well, this guy thought I was yelling because I was happy and that kind of led him to a…happier end.”

Jack devolved into laughter.

Benny waited for him to finish before continuing, something his boat companion had not done.

“We dated for a bit after that, but we both realized that we had just gotten swept up in that whole teenaged lust thing. And, since there wasn’t another steering wheel part to help me fake it, it became obvious we weren’t exactly compatible. I never told him about how miserable my experience was, though, even after he actually congratulated himself on our first times being so great. I also definitely didn't tell him about the steering wheel part.”

Jack’s grin had died down sometime between the words “lust” and “steering wheel.”

Now his brow was arched high.

“Okay, so why are you telling me this now?” he asked. “Not that I mind getting these little Benny insights while my nips are out and the Robertsons are waiting somewhere in the distance.”

Benny closed his eyes for a moment. Maybe if he couldn’t see the world and its problems, the world couldn’t see him and his.

He sighed at the lack of reality in that hope.

When he spoke again, it was in his smallest I know mistakes were made voice.

“Because I wrote about the whole thing on DearMe.”

“You wrote about it on DearMe,” Jack repeated. “The whole thing?”

Benny nodded.

“Steering wheel and all.”

Jack whistled long and low.

“In my defense, that whole situation was a big deal for me, and the blog at the time was absolutely private,” Benny amended. “With no intention of it ever, ever going public. Though, just in case, I did change his name, so I wasn’t one-hundred percent insane. Just like a ninety-seven.” That being said, the identity of Guy might have been the holy grail of mystery in his life but “Rudy” would be easy to suss out if anyone took the time. Benny was almost grateful for the world’s focus on Guy.

“And you’re bringing this all up now because you’re nostalgic or⁠—”

“Or I can't imagine Carol not mentioning it today. In front of everyone.”

Jack was solemn with his nod.

“Yeah, I can see that. Might have been why she insisted on coming with us on the boat in the first place.”