Page 103 of The Bartender Special

The pageant was around the corner. He and Jack were already in for a penny, a pound, and a sure-to-be awkward performance.

Feathers or not, he wasn’t looking to win. He just wanted to not embarrass them too badly.

Another glance in the mirror and he decided, time constraints or not, he currently was the thing he feared he’d become.

“This is just too awkward,” he said, sigh heavy. “I mean, even for a cheesy pageant, it’s…it’s so much skin up here and so…”

He tried to find the right words for whatever was happening with his crotch.

Ethan was not gracious with it.

“It makes you look like you’re smuggling fruit in the front but weirdly have a diaper on in the back.”

“Oh my God,” Benny realized. “That’s exactly it. Tight in front, saggy in the back.”

“Not the sexiest descriptor.”

“Definitely not one I’d want on stage with me.”

They took another long look in the mirror.

Then Ethan was laughing.

“I told you this place has two moods—stock Halloween costumes year-round and then really funky stuff that either works really well or doesn't. I’m sure this worked for someone. Just maybe not you.”

Benny agreed with another trailing sigh.

He stalked back into his stall and eyed the other two costumes hanging on its hooks. One was a shark costume, the other was some kind of unisex sea creature with a tail. A sexy unisex sea creature with a tail. The top was a glorified green napkin.

“You know, you'd be singing a different tune if you were in my shoes,” he called through the door, sadly eyeing said sea creature for his next try-on attempt. “You get to play it safe with your sailor or pirate-whatever character thing you picked out. And you don’t have to go on stage.”

“Correction: I don’t have to go on stage for the pageant, but I’m front and center at the Little Fishies in the Bay play,” Ethan shot back. “And I’ll tell you what, you don’t want to be wearing anything that shows your midriff when you’re chasing around a bunch of hyped up five-year-olds. I still have nightmares of Nate Calloway using my arm as a tissue when he had that snot attack on stage last year. The eyepatch isn’t all for show. It can also be a helpful shield.”

Benny cringed as he shimmied out of his less-than-flattering costume. A feather fell off in the process. He panicked and stuffed it into his messenger bag.

There was no way he was paying for the risqué hybrid monstrosity.

“Well, still, I wish I could be a sailor instead,” he said after a moment. “Whatever talent we end up going with will probably be way easier if I had on a secure outfit. One that maybe didn’t, as you said, make it seem like I’m smuggling anything down there.”

“Then just be a sailor? Just because you’re a bottom doesn’t mean you have to be the most feminine character between you and Jack. That’s a stereotype, you know.”

The pilot flame in Benny’s face flared on to that.

“Ethan,” he chided.

Ethan laughed.

“What? You’re the one who told me that when you went to that one theme dinner date in college you weren’t wearing pink just because you like to⁠—”

“Ethan! We are in a public place!”

He imagined his friend waving the concern off as his tone was nonchalant.

“There were like two people in the store when we came in and we’d hear if someone walked up on us since the floor is as sticky as my classroom. Plus, I’m not wrong. If you don’t want to have two sailors, why not just make Jack be the merman? Honestly, it would probably be pretty funny. Plus, I feel like he has a sleeper build under all those button up shirts. Might get you some bonus points if you show off his abs.”

Benny wanted to address all the issues—starting with the fact he wasn’t trying to be a merman because of where he preferred to be during sex—but then the second he lingered on the idea of sex, he was instantly transported back to his bedroom the night before.

They’d both snuck into the shower, rinsed off, and gotten back into bed.