Page 86 of Shipwrecked

“I don’t have an off-switch. That part of me always comes out. ‘Intense’ can be okay now and then, but every time is tiring.” The tightness in Cillian’s mouth harshens its handsome shape. “I’m big and intimidating, and intense…and disrespectful.”

“Disrespectful?” I repeat, stunned.

Mathieu’s eyebrows shoot up. “If I found you disrespectful, I wouldn’t sleep with you.” Mathieu leans closer. “Cillian.”

Cillian’s brow creases. “Yes?” He sounds on guard.

“I do not want you to get upset with me, but I am going to say something.”

Cillian waits.

“You drop after sex, don’t you?”

I look at Mathieu with the same befuddled expression as Cillian.

“What?” Cillian asks, mystified, as if Mathieu asked the question in French.

“After sex, you get very anxious. You’re always worried that we’re mad or upset with you. During sex, you’re able to tell that we’re not.”

I’m thinking back on all the times we’ve been intimate. Has he been upset afterwards? And I didn’t notice? Don’t be pissed off at me. That’s what he said last night.

“I lose the run of myself in bed. I’ve always been like that,” Cillian mutters. “I always get dumped the morning after. Kara said I was disrespectful.”

“You don’t, actually,” Mathieu says. “You’re dominant and intense, but I never feel as though you’ve stopped paying attention to me and how I’m responding. You, Jules?”

“No.”

“Right. You wouldn’t feel comfortable letting him take the lead if he was off his head, would you?” Mathieu reaches up, rubbing my hair. “Do you usually use safe words with your partners, Cillian?”

“I’m not into BDSM.”

“Me either. But we’re going to have one. Jules, show Cillian what you’ll do if we’re in the middle of sex and you need to hit pause.” Mathieu turns an expectant eye to me, like this is a question I already know the answer to. I realise I do. I reach across the bed to Cillian and tap his wrist twice.

“And for me, I can do the same. I’ll also say, ‘yacht’. We’ll practice using them tonight. This way, you can be a little less worried about us being mad at you afterwards, okay?”

Cillian blinks.

I think he’s trying to unpack everything Mathieu just said. I am too.

“I’m going to ask you the relationship question again later,” Mathieu tells him. “Not right after sex while you’re anxious, and I bet you’ll say yes.”

Once upon a time, Mathieu convinced me that he was shy.

Cillian looks stressed. “Let’s shelve this for now,” I suggest. I catch Cillian’s eye and smile. “Don’t overthink it. I like you, and I like…us.”

I sit up and hiss. The ache is satisfyingly intense. “Any chance one of you would tag in for my water run today?”

“I’ll do it,” Cillian says. “You should get more rest,” he adds, as I get up and dig through my bag.

“I want to get cleaned up before I put on clothes, so I’m going to go wash before anyone else is up.”

Early dawn light spills over Mathieu and Cillian as I open our hut door. Our blanket is kicked down to their knees, so I see an ocean of naked skin. Cillian is all broad swells of muscle, and I suspect he’s a lot stronger than I’ve had the opportunity to see. There’s the slightest tremble going through him. His cock, even while soft, is huge. It’s one of the few exceptions to the tattoos swirling all over his skin. They cover everything bar his genitals.

Mathieu is all lean and neat, the elegant lines of his body leading to his lovely jaw and cherubic curls. They’re wild and rumpled. They contrast with his neat cock. It really is perfect for a mouth. Thickness and length and shape ideal to…

Both of them are looking between my legs.

“You did say they were pretty,” Mathieu says.