Page 59 of Discovering Her Earl

“I see.” She frowned. She certainly shouldn’t be upset to have a man respect her, but with her body humming from his touch, she couldn’t seem to appreciate his integrity at the moment. Perhaps later, when she was alone in her room, she would feel fortunate he didn’t push her into something she might have regretted.

But right now… she wanted.

He caressed her cheek and she softened once again from just that simple touch.

“Please don’t be angry at me for doing the right thing. I can’t even be certain you like me most of the time and I don’t wish to do anything to make it worse.”

She laughed and nodded.

“You’re right. I’m sure I will thank you for this later. I just don’t like missing out on an adventure. Specifically, what would have come after that kiss had we not stopped. Surely it would have been an exciting exploration.”

He kissed her again, a quick, soft touch of his lips.

“Perhaps another time, when you’ve considered it thoroughly. I would never pretend to know better than you what you want and don’t want. But that decision needs to be made with a clear head and I’m afraid neither of us can claim one of those at the moment.”

He was right. She took a steadying breath and nodded. Her cheeks went warm when she realized she’d practically begged this rogue to take her virtue and he had refused her.

What a fool.

“I should go,” she said as she took a step away from him. But he put an arm around her, holding her close and kissing her again. Why did she turn to melted butter whenever his lips touched hers?

“You have no idea how much I want you right now. And how surprised I am that I am not taking you up on your offer. But you need to know before you begin analyzing the situation incorrectly that the only reason I stopped is because you are too important and too special for a dalliance. Tell me, you understand.”

Her doubts from a moment ago floated away as if they’d never existed.

She looked him in the eye noticing how dark his blue eyes had gone.

“I understand.”

He nodded and brushed a piece of her hair from her forehead before whispering, “Good lass. Shall we go back inside?”

Lainey touched her lips, plump from his kisses and smiled.

“Yes.” She turned for the door. They’d only gone two steps before she stopped him again. “Thank you, Julian.”

Whatever he was or had been, he had given her the most perfect first kiss. She would remember it all her life.

And hoped it would not be the only one.

*

Julian tossed and turned in his bed for what felt like the hundredth time. If it was just restlessness from being unfulfilled by her kisses, he could have eased the tension with his hand. But that was not the issue.

Or not the entirety of the issue. His body did still want hers, but he was resolved to treat her the way she deserved. To respect her. Because he genuinely cared for her.

What vexed him as he tried to sleep was that their earlier conversation had been interrupted. She’d started to tell him the reason she didn’t like him, something that had happened the night of her come out, but they’d gotten distracted by the kiss.

Most assuredly the best kiss of his life for both her innocent determination and eager sensuality.

But he still didn’t know what he had done to cause her initial dislike of him. Something that had happened at her first ball.

He struggled with memories from so long ago. Mostly because he’d gladly pushed them as deep into the dark recesses of his mind as possible. It was not a time he liked to think of.

It had been a part of his life he hadn’t been proud of.

After leaving Scotland and leaving Hale and Kit behind for London, he’d spent his evenings with the chaps his father had encouraged him to build a friendship with. Proper English lords, he’d claimed them rather than the Scottish brutes Julian had known at Heriot’s. But Lord Dunnage and Lord Heath had been conniving monsters. Acting the perfect gentlemen when their fathers were about, but showing their true colors when they were alone with Julian.

Only Julian’s size kept him from being injured physically, but they had been terrors. He’d nearly forgotten all the cruel pranks they’d played.