Page 189 of On the Breakaway

“No.” My voice comes out strangled. “No, that’s not–”

But he’s already shaking his head and pulling away.

“I’ve got to go.”

Panic explodes through me, cutting through the anxiety and confusion already there. Because for weeks, I’ve been too afraid to trust him enough to believe he’d stay. The fear of being hurt again has ruled every single decision I’ve made with him.

But now, standing here watching him walk away, a new fear crashes into all the others.

What if I spent so much time protecting myself from losing him that I end up losing him anyway?

Suddenly, the stupid promise doesn’t feel like my biggest problem anymore. Tomorrow, I’ll probably still be angry, but that doesn’t feel nearly as terrifying as watching him walk away.

I can be pissed at him and love him all the same.

The realization hits so hard I almost double over.

I love him.

I love him, and I think I might’ve realized it too late.

Despite every instinct screaming at me to go after him, to grab his hand, to stop him before he disappears through that door, I stay frozen exactly where I am.

I let him walk away.

And I hate myself for it.

37

Grayson

The assistant coach is still yelling when I sit down. He might’ve actually been yelling before I even got through the door.

I have no idea because his voice is bouncing off the locker room walls while I replay my conversation with Avery.

I just need a fucking minute.

The words loop through my head while I stare at the concrete floor.

She didn’t say this is over.

Or we’re done.

She said just a minute. So why does it feel like my entire heart has been ripped out of my chest?

“Are you even listening to me?” His voice cuts through the haze.

I blink. “What?”

His face twists with anger. “Jesus Christ, Shaw.” He throws both hands in the air. “You get ejected from the biggest game of the season, and you don’t have anything to say for yourself?”

I don’t answer.

What am I supposed to say?

Sorry, I punched a guy and blew up my entire secret relationship in front of thousands of people?

He shakes his head before muttering something under his breath and walking away.