Page 39 of Love Sanctioned

I shook my head, tears streaming down my cheeks. Damn all this crying.

She then pressed her ear to the door as if she was trying to listen for something.

I couldn’t help the laughter that escaped my lips watching her crazy self finally open the door and step into the bathroom.

“Shit!” she exclaimed loudly. “No drinks for you, but I’ma need several at this point.”

She exited the bathroom a few moments later approaching the couch. “This is a lot, I’m not gonna lie to you. But you’re my best bitch and I got you for life. My loyalties lie with you, even though I told you to leave that nigga alone. Now where is the alcohol? I’m taking shots for you tonight.”

I shook my head. “One more thing.”

“Bitch, what else could it possibly be?”

“Before you got here, Junior called and reminded me that I agreed to come to his game tonight. It’s the season opener. I told him I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Damn, that is tonight. Okay, I’m going to your closet. You moisturize your hair. You gotta look thick and good. Cousin or not, that nigga gotta see where he fucked up. No more tears, Karsyn, it’s only forward from here. What happens will happen and the choices you make gotta be what’s best for you.”

I nodded. We talked for a while, then took the party to my bedroom where she kept her word and picked my outfit while I attempted to hide the bags and puffiness under my eyes and do my hair. I settled for a bun then got myself together.

It took me about two hours before I was fully ready and we were rushing out of the door. We were standing in the elevator when Junnie began to speak. “Might I say, you really don’t look like someone with all the shit you have on your plate. It's giving looking for a stepdaddy.”

I cackled.

“Honestly though, are you considering your father’s offer?”

“I am. And that’s so fucked up because what the fuck?”

“Nope, don’t you start crying. We're gonna be good, Karsyn. I promise.”

The last thing I wanted was to see this nigga, but I was keeping my word to Junior regardless of his father. By his school being only ten minutes from my house, we got there quickly, and boy was I nervous.

As soon as we entered the gymnasium, Junior spotted us. He tossed the ball to one of his teammates then ran over and hugged me and Junnie. Then he pointed up to where his grandmother and great grandmother were seated. That was when I saw him, his eyes glued to his phone and he looked extremely agitated.

“You know we can sit down here if you want. We don’t have to go up there.”

I nodded, finding a seat behind the bench closest to the exit and taking it. When this game was over, I was running to my car. I wasn’t ready to be anywhere near this nigga.

While they prepared to start, I talked with Junnie before ultimately pulling out my phone. I had a long, terse ass text from Patience about going missing on her to respond to.

“Damn what up, Sis, yeen speaking?” Killah’s voice made me look up from my phone. He leaned over and gave me a side hug before muffing his sister.

I smiled. “My bad, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“I feel you.”

He talked shit with his sister for a moment before he climbed about four bleachers up to the rest of their family.

For me, being here was excruciating, but I did it. I sat through four quarters of basketball and didn’t look back once. I survived. When it was finally over, I grabbed my purse and headed for the door, but his mother clocked my ass before I could get out fast enough. I didn’t even know how she got down here because I hadn’t seen her pass us, but then again I was in a daze… A shell of myself because somewhere between watching Junior play and talking to Junnie, it dawned on me that those tests both said pregnant and I couldn’t be the furthest thing from ready. How was I supposed to do this alone?

“My pretty girl. I can see that he hurt you and I’m sorry for that. Messed up that I bore such a rockheaded ass son. I just pray when he sees the error in his ways he hasn’t lost you for good,” she said in my ear during our hug. Then she kissed my cheek.

I forced a smile because that was all I could muster.

We stood there for a moment, eyes doing more communication than lips, before she said she was going to take a picture with Junior who was taking pictures with his team on the other side of the court. Their team had won forty-five to thirty-one.

I could feel his eyes, but unlike any other time, I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to feel anything about him.

“I’m gonna head to the car,” I said.