Page 65 of The Goalie in Room 1

Cash seemed to realize what he’d said at the same moment I did. He looked down. I secured the brace again, giving him time to decide whether he wanted to say more or let what he said fall away.

“Hold on to me and push up from the bench. Keep the right leg forward so you don’t mistakenly put any weight on it,” I said.

We got him back to his feet without incident and into the wheelchair we used when he felt unsteady. Once he was seated, I handed him clean clothes and turned away.

He managed his shirt fine, but getting his shorts over the brace proved impossible without help. I guided the fabric over his foot and worked it carefully up his leg.

“This isn’t how I imagined our first shower together,” he said.

I glanced up.

His smile was quieter this time.

“How did you imagine it?” I asked, even though I knew I shouldn’t.

He laughed. “That feels like another conversation we’re not allowed to have.”

“Probably.”

I finished adjusting his shorts and rose.

Cash caught my wrist before I could step away.

His grip wasn’t tight. I could have freed myself without effort.

I didn’t.

“Thank you,” he said.

There was no joke waiting behind the words. No sarcasm to make the gratitude easier for him to offer.

“You’re welcome.”

“And I meant what I said earlier.”

“About my sheets being ugly?”

“About being glad you stayed.”

His thumb shifted against the inside of my wrist. One small movement that felt far too intimate.

“I’m glad you were there,” he said.

Something inside me gave way. Not enough to make me forget what he needed from me. Enough to make me understand the danger had never been limited to wanting his body.

I could keep my hands to myself.

I would keep my hands to myself.

He deserved that from me. I would maintain the boundaries required by his injury, his dependence, and the trust he had placed in me. And my medical license.

But every time Cash allowed me to care for him, he gave me another piece of himself, and I knew two things: one, professional distance had long since disappeared, and two, it was no longer a question of how not to give him a piece of myself in return. It was how I kept from handing myself over to him completely.

So much for following the rule.

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CASH