Page 39 of A Christmas Wish for the Village Midwife

Alex lined up the edges of the teacloth and folded it, watching his hands as they worked instead of looking Zoe in the eye as he asked his question. She wondered if he didn’t dare look because he already knew her answer and didn’t want to have to acknowledge it. ‘What you’re saying is, Hilltop is making her miserable?’

‘I wouldn’t presume to know, but I get the feeling living here is maybe making her feel restless.’

‘Do you think she’d be happier living somewhere else? What about where Maisie and Fern are living? I hate the idea of it, but we could⁠—’

‘I don’t know. Maisie and Fern are both used to this pace of life; they’ve both been in the Lakes since they were born. Things are still quiet even where they are, maybe still too quiet for Billie. It’s different for them than it is for Billie. She’s lived a much more cosmopolitan life up till now. I doubt either of those two feel they’ve slowed down, and in fairness, they’re both busy building lives that are better than what they came from, so they’re bound to feel as if they’re winning right now, like they’re on the up. They’ve both grown up with very little, but Billie… She’s not rich. I’m not saying she’s entitled or anything, but you’ve given her more than either Maisie or Fern have ever had. It’s bound to make her see the world differently and perhaps want more.’

‘Then what do we do?’ he asked helplessly.

Zoe could see how much this conversation pained him. He’d always tried to do the best for his daughter, and he would give his entire world to see her happy, but Zoe feared this was one problem Dad couldn’t fix. It was almost because he’d done so much for her in the past that they found themselves here now. She feared he could see that too, and he could see a day when he was going to lose her. Not entirely, of course, but a different life in a new place would inevitably change things. She’d make new connections, perhaps even meet another man and set up home with him, and in one way or another, in the way that almost every parent eventually loses influence in their child’s life, she’d need him less and less, and she’d seek his counsel less and less. She’d visit and it would be lovely when she did, but even Zoe, with her limited experience of motherhood beyond the women she cared for in her professional capacity, could see that it wouldn’t be the same at all. It certainly wouldn’t be what Alex wanted – but was it fair and right for him to cling to her? She was the last piece of Jennifer he had, and perhaps it explained why he wanted to keep her close, but while that served him, it hardly served Billie. He’d been there when she’d needed him, but how was Zoe supposed to say what she thought? How was she supposed to tell him that it might be time he let go?

‘I’ll talk to her,’ he said. ‘As soon as she’s put Louisa to bed, I’ll have a chat.’

‘Don’t go at it like a bull in a china shop.’

His eyes narrowed. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Don’t get offended! I only meant let her lead the conversation. If she doesn’t want to talk about it right now, don’t force her to, and don’t act all hurt by every reply she gives, even if you feel it; you’ll only push the discussion into a place you don’t want to. She’ll tell us what she wants when she’s ready. I think, to an extent, she doesn’t even know it herself right now. Or if she does, she’s nervous about the decision. And it might be that I’m wrong and she’s perfectly happy in⁠—’

‘You’re not. I’ve seen it too – I just didn’t want to admit it.’

‘The tap’s being weird again…’

Both Zoe and Alex whipped round at the sound of Billie’s voice.

‘Jesus, what’s wrong with you two? Have I caught you talking about me?’

‘No,’ Alex began, but Zoe quickly decided it was insulting to Billie’s intelligence to lie to her. And Alex had said he wanted to talk to her, so why not now? Why not get everything out into the open?

‘Actually, yes, and I think your dad wants to talk to you. Did you put Louisa to bed?’

Billie nodded and took a seat at the kitchen table.

‘What about the dishes?’ Alex asked.

‘They can wait – I’ll finish them later. I’ll take Griz for a walk to give you two some time.’

‘Are you sure you’ll be all right with him? It’s dark, and⁠—’

‘We won’t go far,’ Zoe said, already leaving the kitchen to fetch her coat. ‘I might even pop over to see Corrine and Victor – I haven’t been for ages, and I’m overdue a visit. You can text me when you’re done.’

‘I think you should be here,’ Alex began, but Zoe shook her head as she stood at the doorway.

‘This is not for me to weigh in on. This is for you two to work out.’

Two minutes later, she was back in the kitchen with her coat and boots. Alex and Billie were sitting at the table together, but they both had a fresh cup of tea in front of them and were silent as Zoe went to get Grizzle’s lead. It jangled as she fetched it from the hook and had him racing over, claws skittering on the stone floor. Alex and Billie were still silent as she clipped Grizzle’s lead to his collar, missing a few times as he jumped up and tried to lick her face. Ordinarily, his doggy affection would have had her laughing, but her thoughts were on the scene at the table. Clearly, Alex had decided to wait until she’d finished getting ready so they wouldn’t be distracted, and Billie must have been wondering what on earth was going on.

‘Phone if you need me,’ she said as she opened the back door. ‘Otherwise, I’ll be back in an hour or so… maybe more if Corrine is in the mood for a chat, so don’t worry about me if I’m late.’

‘See you,’ Billie said vaguely, while Alex sent a grateful but also hesitant look her way. She sent one back that she hoped would reassure him, but the fact was, he was on his own now.

The lights were on, but when Zoe knocked at the door of Daffodil farmhouse, there was no answer. After a minute or so, she knocked again, and this time a flushed Corrine opened up.

‘Oh, Zoe… I thought it might be the vet, though I did tell him to go straight up to the field.’

‘Is everything all right?’

‘Yes… well, not really. It’s Dandelion.’