Page 38 of A Christmas Wish for the Village Midwife

Billie looked up. ‘Sure. My dad is an idiot who doesn’t understand why he shouldn’t climb on a roof to stick some ridiculous lump of plastic up there, but why would that bother me?’

‘He only wanted to do something nice for you. For Louisa and you.’

‘Not dying is good. If he wants to do something nice, how about trying not to get killed? I can get on board with that.’ Billie looked beyond Zoe, towards the open back door. ‘Where is he?’

‘Outside.’

‘He can come in; I’m not going to thump him.’

‘Go easy on him,’ Zoe said. ‘Please. He’s doing his best, even if he doesn’t always get it right.’

‘I know that,’ Billie said, and though there was still irritation in her tone, Zoe could tell it was softening. She let out a sigh. ‘I’d better go and talk to him.’

Zoe sat at the table. The back door was still open, a stiff draught blowing into the kitchen. It was then she noticed Grizzle wandering around the garden, trying to get attention from Alex or Billie, but getting none. Zoe didn’t close the door because she wanted to see what the body language was like from them, even if she couldn’t hear what they were saying. And after a few tense moments, it did look more positive. Alex kissed Billie on the forehead, and though she still looked irked as they came back to the house, Alex was visibly happier.

‘Cup of tea?’ he asked as they came in, followed by Grizzle, and then closed the door.

Billie nodded and took a seat next to Zoe. She didn’t say anything about what they’d just discussed, and neither did Alex, and Zoe had to assume that they’d made up their differences.

Later, as Billie bathed Louisa, Zoe took advantage of her absence to air her worries to Alex. It made her feel a little underhand, as if she were somehow betraying Billie by discussing her when she wasn’t there to answer for herself, but she did it anyway.

‘I don’t know…’ she said, her voice low as they washed up together. ‘I’m sure you’ve sensed it too, but I really felt it today. She’s not one to demonstrate huge enthusiasm for most things – that’s just how she is – but today everything was so negative. We’d come so far, and I thought maybe she was moving on, getting used to being a mum and settling into life here, but now I feel as if we’re going backwards again.’

‘I feel the same way. I’d try to talk to her, but I get the feeling she doesn’t want to discuss whatever it is.’

‘Maybe she thinks if she did open up, what she had to say might hurt your feelings.’

Alex turned to her with a silent question.

‘I mean to say,’ Zoe continued, ‘I wonder if she’s fed up with life here at Hilltop.’

‘No…’ He shook his head. ‘She loves having all this countryside around us. She loves taking Grizzle out for walks… remember when she did all that photography and gave me a copy of her photos in that book last Christmas?’

‘Yes, but people’s feelings can change. And even if she does enjoy walking Grizzle and having all this open space, that doesn’t mean she’s content. You can still enjoy where you live but feel you’re in a dead end.’

‘Dead end? In what way?’

‘Thimblebury is the sort of place people like you and me come to. We’ve got set up, made a little money and got careers going. We can come here and slow the pace if we want to.’

‘I hardly feel I’m slowing down!’

‘But you’re free to do something you love for a living because you’re set up.’ Zoe handed him a plate to dry. ‘I’m not making myself very clear, but I suppose what I’m trying to say is Thimblebury is somewhere you come – and before you say it, I know we’re not old – but it’s the sort of place people Billie’s age generally move away from. It’s not very exciting, is it? We like it, but you have to admit that not a lot happens. There’s nowhere to go at night apart from a couple of pubs, and not much more to do in the day.’

‘Billie has Louisa – she doesn’t care about any of that.’

Zoe let out a sigh. ‘Alex, you can do better than that. Think back to when you and Jennifer first had Billie. Are you telling me that after she arrived, you didn’t leave the house for the next eighteen years? Not one night out drinking or dancing or clubbing? Not one birthday celebration or couples' weekend while the grandparents looked after her?’

‘We’d look after Louisa if she wanted to go and do things like that – she knows we would.’

‘That’s not what I’m saying… she does know we would, but where is she going to go? Who’s she going to go with? Her only friends are Maisie, Fern… and Corrine, and if we were being completely honest, none of them have a huge amount in common with her. They’re friends by forced proximity, by the mere circumstance of their being close by.’ Zoe paused. ‘In Spain, you said she had way more friends.’

‘She had more than she does now, I suppose, but she didn’t have a baby. And some of them were friends she shared with Luis.’

‘But they were also friends she could choose to make. People she shared common interests with aside from simply living close to them in a place where there were slim pickings for people to hang out with. If she lived in Manchester, or Liverpool, or even back in Essex, she’d have very different friends and probably a lot more of them.’

‘She’s never been what you’d call a social butterfly, though.’

‘No, I don’t imagine she was, but I still think her friendship groups would comprise of very different people. For instance, Corrine is old enough to be her grandmother. I was happy to see Corrine getting through to her when she was really struggling with her mental health, but it’s not exactly broadening her horizons, is it?’