Page 22 of Cruel Salvation

“Then what?”

His thumb caught her bottom lip as he cupped the back of her neck, and a shot of pure desire ran down her spine before settling heavily between her legs.

“I like you, Naz. I like your spirit, your dark humour, the way you care for those around you, and yes, your ass does look spectacular in a pair of tight jeans. But mostly I like how you make me feel when I’m around you.”

Her voice shook and this time she didn’t try and hide it from him, she let him see her, warts and all. “How do I make you feel, Damon?”

“Like I can do anything. Like I can be a man worthy of a woman like you.”

It was shocking to her that he’d ever consider he wasn’t worthy of her. If anything, it was the other way around. She was so broken, so damaged, why would anyone ever sign up for that? The moment was charged, and she knew he wanted to kiss her and, God, she wanted that more than anything, but she couldn’t kid herself any longer.

She was falling for this man, and she thought he felt the same way, but she couldn’t allow things to get more complicated, not until she told him about the baby. Sitting up, she caught the flash of disappointment on his face before he hid it. She needed to lighten the moment because even that tiny flash of disappointment made her hate herself.

“Is Bás mad?”

“Worried. You should probably call him before he turns up here like a protective papa bear.”

Lotus smiled at the thought. “Well, I do call him and Val, Mum and Dad.”

Damon grinned and she felt her belly turn over as a swarm of butterflies took flight. Damon was incredibly handsome, but when he smiled it was like all the dark shadows of her world got lit up.

“Weirdo. They aren’t that much older than you.”

She bumped him with her shoulder, feeling lighter and less like she was drowning than before her meltdown. His teasing was something she enjoyed. The men on her team teased her, Bein, Hurricane, and Bishop, all of them would banter with her but that was like a sister. With Damon, it was different, less sisterly and all flirty.

“Hey, I’m not weird.”

“You really are but it turns out I like weird.”

“Good to know.” It was hard to pinpoint what the strange feeling in her chest was, but it felt a lot like happiness. Not that she hadn’t been happy in her life the last few years since Shadow and Rykov had taken her under their wing. But this felt almost dizzying, like a bubble of excitement, and it was the thought of what might happen to her when it burst that made her feel so cautious. Good things didn’t happen to people like her because she wasn’t a good person. Even Rykov had been taken away from her, the one man who felt invincible, her absolute best friend in the world, and he was gone too.

As if sensing her mood shifting, Damon stood and shoved his hands in his pockets. “You want me to bring you up some tea and biscuits?”

“You don’t have to wait on me, Damon.”

“I know, but I like doing it and it makes me feel useful.”

“You are useful. You’re the one that suggested the drug might be in play again.”

“I know but you would have got there.”

“Maybe, but you saved me time and I have your fine ass to look at.”

He choked out a laugh and poked his tongue to the side of his cheek. “So, I’m here as your man candy?”

“Got a problem with that?” She knew her tone was flirty and hiding the dark turn her thoughts had taken, and that she should stop teasing him, but it always felt natural to flirt with him, and fighting him was exhausting. She just needed to find a way to tell him about the baby before she fell back into his bed. Lotus had no illusion she wanted him, whether he would want her after her little revelation, she didn’t know.

“No problem at all.”

He skimmed her jawline with his finger and walked down the stairs, leaving her feeling slightly better. Still confused about her future, but lighter knowing that whatever happened she would be okay. She always was because what other choice was there?