Page 44 of Grunt: A Marine Romance

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THE ALARM CLOCKon Bret’s phone went off at four a.m. He and Selena had another long day ahead of them. Bret wanted to get on the road by five to skip the Los Angeles traffic and start their journey up to Marin.

He turned his phone alarm off and noticed a missed call and a voicemail from his buddy Ray. He was probably just calling to tease him again about his outfit—he’d already been fielding insults from his buddies since the show aired.

“Lord, Nia just showed me an article online about your scandalous affair with Selena. By the way, you looked like a fruitcake in that getup. Give me a call when you get a chance.”

What the hell? Bret opened Selena’s laptop and googled his name, something he never thought he’d do.

Headlines popped up, one after another. Radar Online, People, Us Weekly. Bret clicked through the articles. Each carried a version of a heartbroken Dima finding out about Selena and Bret. Some included pictures of Bret and Selena dancing on the show, one even had his boot camp picture. Nothing shocking. But then something caught Bret’s eye.

“A source close to Selena said that Bret and Selena broke up as teens after Selena found out she was pregnant. Selena suffered a miscarriage, dumped Bret, and partnered up with Dima.”

A miscarriage? Who would make up these cruel lies? That’s not even why they broke up. They were engaged, he went to boot camp, and when he came back, she had vanished.

Bret slammed the computer shut. Heat rose in his chest and he had difficulty breathing. Now he was just another reality loser that the tabloids thought they could make up lies about to sell advertisements. He looked over at Selena still sound asleep. No point to wake her up and ruin her morning over this bullshit. Bret tried to take his mind off the rumors by reading the morning paper that had been slipped through the door.

An hour later Selena rolled over, her tank top scrunched on her stomach. “Morning. Did I oversleep?”

“Forget that, Selena. I have to show you something.” He clicked on the website.

She sat up, brushed her hair out of her eyes, and focused on the screen.

Bret studied her eyes. She skimmed the page, until she gasped for breath and bit her lip.

It was true.

“Look me in the eye and don’t lie to me. Is there anything you are keeping from me?” Bret could tell her mind was racing, trying to think of what to say to him.

Selena blinked furiously. “Bret, I, my mom, I wanted to tell you so many times—”

Bret slammed his fist into the bed. “Are you kidding me, Sel? You wanted to tell me? You were pregnant with our child and you kept it from me. We were engaged. I would’ve been thrilled. Maybe you wouldn’t have had a miscarriage. You probably had one because you were still dancing and dieting. How could you not tell me?”

“Bret, please. I was so young. And my mom thought it would ruin any hope of me ever having a future in dancing. I told her I didn’t care about my career, but you were in boot camp and I couldn’t get a hold of you. She kept telling me I was all alone and she wouldn’t help me. She wanted me to have an abortion but I refused. I was just waiting to tell you when you graduated from boot camp. But I had a miscarriage—I was destroyed. I wanted to write you so many times but Dima said—”

“Dima?! This has nothing to do with that bastard. This was my child. Our child. Not his. Then again maybe you were screwing around on me even back then. How the hell do I know that you had a miscarriage and not an abortion? Or how do I know that it wasn’t Dima’s baby? How convenient. Wouldn’t want a baby to ruin your dancing career. Damn, you are so vain.”

“I would never have an abortion. I was devastated when I miscarried.” Selena slumped on the bed. “I planned to come back to you. But you were away for three months and had already quit dancing. After I lost the baby, dancing was all I had. So I chose to dance with Dima. I’m sorry I didn’t come to your graduation but I thought seeing you would bring back all the pain of losing our baby. It was cowardly. Once I gained some perspective, I tried to find you. But you had vanished. Ever since then, I’ve looked for you. Myspace, Facebook. But you were gone. Completely gone. It’s like you existed only in my memories. You don’t know the guilt I’ve felt. I’ve wanted to tell you since we got back together, and I tried to but you didn’t want to talk about the past. I screwed up. I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry. Please forgive me, Bret.”

Bret could forgive many things. He forgave her for leaving him many years ago, but he couldn’t forgive her for lying to him about a pregnancy. About a child that could’ve been his. Could’ve been theirs. Ever.

He pulled on his jeans. “No Selena. I can’t forgive you for this. I can never trust you. I’m supposed to believe you were going to marry me when I got out of boot camp if you hadn’t miscarried? Do you have any idea how tough it was for me to get over you? I joined the Corps to make a good life for you, for us! We agreed that we wanted to be on our own, not dependent on our parents. I had no money or education. The military was the only way—there was no money in ballroom back then for amateurs and it would’ve taken us years and a ton of money to turn pro. Plus you know I never really enjoyed it. I only danced because my parents forced me and then when I got paired with you I just wanted to make you happy. In boot camp, every time I got trashed on the quarterdeck, doing pushups ‘til my fingers bled, I got through it because I knew I was doing it for our future. And then you left me—and you didn’t even have the decency to show up at my graduation and tell me to my face.”

Selena’s chin quivered. “I had no idea how hard it was for you, Bret. I have nothing to say for myself. I was just so devastated and confused.”

“I’m done. Done with you. Done with dancing. Done with this lifestyle. I’ll finish out this season and I pray I never have to see you again.”

Selena broke into sobs. “Please Bret, please.”

Bret didn’t turn around. He put on his shirt and shoes, leashed up Banjo, grabbed his bags, then slammed the door behind him.

After he made his way down the elevator, he found some paparazzi in the lobby. He pushed back his sunglasses and plowed right through them.

This was it for Bret. No more women. He’d gone against his better judgment getting involved with Selena again. He had been happier with no complications, just his loyal dog and his buddies. Buddies that would die for him. His brothers in the Corps were the only people he trusted.

He thought about Robyn’s words to him recently about his path. He didn’t believe her mumbo jumbo for a second, but she was right about one thing: had Bret never done this show, he never would have reunited with Selena nor would he have found out about his child. Bret’s heart ached at the loss, but also he felt strangely at peace. For the first time since Selena left him years ago, he knew that he’d finally found the complete closure he’d always craved.