Page 30 of Clinically Awkward

“What investments?”

“Cryptocurrency.”

“Oh my GOD!”

“It’s a very sound financial strategy!”

“You bought DOGECOIN, didn’t you?”

“It’s a legitimate currency!”

“It’s a MEME!”

I was going to die. I was actually going to die from laughter.

My phone buzzed again as I glanced down.

Vivian: You free for lunch today?

My heart did something stupid. Something completely inappropriate for a man who had just bought two concert tickets. Something that suggested I was about to go in way deeper than I’d thought.

Me: Always. Break room at noon?

Vivian: Perfect. I need to vent.

Of course she did. Of course she needed to vent about the boyfriend. Because that was what friends did. They vented about their terrible boyfriends to other friends. This was fine. Everything was fine. I looked up. Winnie and Fitz were still arguing. Julien looked as if he had given up on life. Gabriel was recording the whole thing on his phone. Nathan was eating popcorn that he had apparently smuggled into the meeting. And Hayden was googling “early retirement options for doctors over 45.”

Just another Monday at Clinically Approved.

“Okay,” Julien said, his voice cutting through the chaos. “Here’s what’s going to happen. Fitz, you’re going to pay Winnie back by the end of the week.”

“That’s very aggressive.”

“End. Of. The. Week.”

“Fine.”

“Winnie, you’re going to go home, take a nap, and send me the receipt for the bail money so I can reimburse you from the clinic’s emergency fund.”

“We have an emergency fund for this?” Winnie asked.

“We do now.”

“And, Fitz,” Julien continued, “you’re going to write a formal apology to the New Haven Police Department.”

“For what?”

“For serenading them at two in the morning!”

“I thought they enjoyed it.”

“They ARRESTED you.”

“That doesn’t mean they didn’t enjoy it.”

Julien looked at me. “Quinton, please tell me you have nothing insane happening in your life right now.”

I thought about the concert tickets, then I thought about Vivian and simply replied, “Nope. Nothing insane at all.”