Page 152 of You + Me – Against the World

“Alma, it’s me.”

I stop dead in my tracks and quickly lean against a wall to keep from falling. I let myself slide down it slowly until I hit the sidewalk. Sitting on the ground, legs pulled up to my chest, my heart in pieces and my mind racing, I listen to him tell me that he’s okay.

“Where are you? What’s going on? What are they doing to you?”

“I was transferred to a county jail to await my trial. I’m being charged with possession of illegal drugs. With my previous convictions, I’m probably facing a long prison sentence. I have a court-appointed lawyer, and he’s a good guy, but I don’t think he’ll be able to do anything for me.”

“Oh, Vadim…”

“Please, don’t cry.”

I sniffle.

“And don’t try to save me, Alma.”

I try to protest, but he interrupts.

“Listen… The person who would have gotten me out of here in the past is Keith. But today, it’s Keith who put me in here.”

I can picture the bitter smile on his face when he says those words.

I get the feeling he’s giving up. And that thought drives me crazy.

“When will I be able to come see you?”

“It’s better if you don’t.”

“Don’t be an idiot, Arcadi.” I insist, threatening him with all kinds of impossible, ridiculous things and calling him by his last name, just like I always do when I give him a hard time.

As if, even in this extreme situation, that little game of ours could be enough to fix it all.

Vadim laughs and promises to put me on his approved visitor list. He explains that it takes time and that I’ll have to drive down with Felix, because the jail is nearly an hour from Los Angeles.

“Alma…” Vadim lowers his voice, and I shiver. “I miss you. If you only knew how much.”

I imagine him surrounded by other inmates, trying to utter those words without anyone hearing, because they could be seen to represent an admission of vulnerability. A lump forms in my throat. A knot tightens in my stomach. I feel empty. I feel like I’m losing my grip. As though Vadim is slipping away from me a little more with every passing minute.

“You know that…” I speak softly, too, not entirely sure if it’s because I’m afraid the line is wiretapped or if I simply know my words are in vain. “Fe, Clem, and I will never let you down. You know that, right?”

“Stop.”

“I love you, Vadim. You know that too, right?”

“I have to go. My ten minutes are up.”

53

Four seemingly endless days later, Felix is behind the wheel of his best friend’s pickup truck, messing with the rearview mirror. Seeing him sitting there, to my left, is another stab to my already wounded heart. Nothing and no one is where they should be anymore: Alonso is driving a car that isn’t his, Clémentine is squirming in the tiny middle seat, Vadim is rotting in jail when someone else should be there instead, and I am alone, without my soulmate. And this time, I’m the one who has to be strong for him. I don’t know if I’ll be able to.

Either to kill time or fill the silence, my best friend complains loudly, about the heat in the car, the lack of a back seat, and Felix’s erratic driving. He ignores her.

I look outside. The drive to the county jail drags on and on.

The same goes for the security checks and the wait in the hallways.

After an hour on the road in scorching heat, the building’s air conditioning chills me to the bone. My legs are trembling, and my arms break out in goosebumps. I try to control myself, but I like the idea that at least Vadim will be able to make fun of me for shivering in the middle of June.

Well, the free Vadim I knew would have teased me, but what will the locked-up Vadim be like? I have no clue.