Page 46 of Hope and Country

“Thank you,” I whispered. I sank my body deeper into his embrace.

And as if we’d been rehearsing it for years, we fell back to sleep, holding on to each other.

18

RILEY

The rational side of me left to gallivant in space. All my senses were drawn to her. Devon was my magnet. My weakness. And the product of my dreams. Before I could overthink any of this, I claimed her mouth, unable to resist her any longer. Her taste was everything I’d ever wished it’d be. And so much more.

“I’ve been dreaming of doing this for over a year.”

Devon dipped her head, her mouth glued to mine, moaning.

“I’m pretty sure you feel it too, Riley. This thing between us. As if the air thickens every time we’re in the same room,” she said against my lips. “I wanted to kiss you so bad that night.”

Her hands slipped under my shirt, molding to my abs, electrifying my entire being. My breath hitched midway to my lungs. My hands held her hips steady, resisting the temptation to rub her against the aching part of me.

Reality hit when Devon grabbed the hem of my T-shirt to remove it.

A cold shower to the craving emerged between us.

“Wait. We shouldn’t,” I said, despising the words on their way out. I adjusted my crotch under Devon’s devoted gaze. I exhaled trying to sort up the gelatin ball my rational thoughts had transformed into. “We can’t rush this. You need time. To get better.”

Devon’s face fell. “I’m sorry. I got lost in my emotions. Do you want me to go?”

No. No, no, no. Why would she think that?

With my hands on her hips, I helped her to my lap. With every breath, her soft chest pressed against mine, messing with my self-control a little more each time.

I looked into her eyes. The deepest part of her soul. “No. Don’t leave. I love having you here. Unless you want me to, I won’t be the guy showing you the door.” I traced the line of her jaw with my finger, pushing down everything I wanted to tell her but couldn’t. It was too soon. She needed time. To heal. And I still couldn’t really get the full magnitude of my feelings for her.

With the woman of my dreams nestled in my arms, and once we agreed on not rushing that thing sizzling between us, I pressed play and resumed the movie. Thirty minutes later, Devon’s breathing evened, and her heartbeat decelerated, every thump vibrating through me.

With my fingers, I combed her hair, and for a moment, wished my life could always be like this.

My free hand dragged over my face and I sighed. “For a year, everywhere I went, I looked for you. Always hoping to bump into ya. The coffee shop. Work. Every party. Every fundraiser. Every concert. Every time I strolled in town. Or the park. I could sense you were close, but I had no idea how to reach out to ya. I tried. I fucking tried. That night—I watched surveillance footage. I called people. Nobody had seen you leaving. It was like I dreamed ya. That you only existed in my head. And my heart. I’m sorry I didn’t find ya. I’m sorry you had to go through this. On your own. I spent countless hours in that hotel bar, waiting for you to walk out of the elevator. I was so desperate. Devon, you’re the most courageous person I know. Let me be here for ya. Not because I feel bad about not being able to rescue you in time. But because I want to. Because you stole my heart that night. And it will never be whole again if you’re not around.”

I shook my head.

In her sleep, Devon’s hand gripped my T-shirt. As she could hear me in her dreams. Somehow.

My pulse raced. I tilted my head back, looking at the ceiling.

Once the emotional surge inside me dissipated, I lifted her in my arms and brought her to her room. I tucked her in, like my mom used to do when I was a kid and afraid of monsters under my bed, and kissed her forehead.

“Don’t move out. I’m not ready to lose you again. I just got you back. Let’s see where this infatuation between us, this passion, will go. Stay with me. Please.”

I showered in cold water, trying to ice my raging hormones and rationalize the way I felt. My body shuddered. It longed for a release. To get rid of the tension making me hard as wood but fragile as crystal. The woman I wanted. The one I craved slept in the room down the hall. For many reasons, it seemed wrong to jerk myself off. Instead, I went to bed and begged sleep to come and soothe my racing mind.

“No. STOP. Please let go of me.”

I rubbed my eyes with my fists. Did someone scream, or was I dreaming? In the darkness of my room, I couldn’t tell. Devon. Was she having another nightmare? Putting pajama pants on, I hurried to her room.

After she asked me in, I neared her bed, needing to see for myself she really was okay. “Want me to—?”

“Yes. Please. Hold me.”

I joined Devon under the covers, hoping someday I’d be able to show her just how amazing she was. And that she didn’t have to be strong always. She could be vulnerable around me. Because I would have her back. Always.