Page 62 of Princess and Country

Jeff lay behind me and wrapped his arms around my shuddering body, pulling me close to his heart. Where I belonged. He kissed the back of my head and my bare shoulder.

“I love you,” I whispered with a croaky voice. “We’ll be okay. I want us to be okay.”

“We’re stronger than this.”

The heaviness of my eyelids won the battle, and feeling each thump of Jeff’s heart behind my shoulder blades, I dozed off, whispers of hope making their way to my bruised heart.

The next day, Jeff and I stayed in our hotel suite, trying to put back together all the torn pieces of our hearts. We had months to make up for. Dressed in white bathrobes, we ordered room service for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

“I don’t remember the last time we spent a day doing nothing but watching TV,” Jeff said as my head rested in his lap, and he brushed strands of my copper hair away from my face. “But somehow it feels right. Maybe we should move in here and never get out.”

I chuckled. “I’m sure we’d both be fat by the end of the month. It’s not normal eating that much ice cream and chocolate mousse in just a day.”

“I’d love you no matter what, Princess. If you want us to be fat together, just say the word. I’m so gone for you, and at this point, I’ll do whatever you ask of me.”

“Don’t be silly. What have you done to Jeff? The guy who lifted weights before going to bed when he was eighteen years old?”

My man untied his terry cloth bathrobe and with a wink, flashed me his chest muscles. “You’re talking about these, Princess? They’re still there. You’ve missed them?”

“You know I did. But I’d like you even without your washboard.” I flipped on my other side and nuzzled his stomach.

Jeff entangled his fingers in my hair. “I’ve missed you. All of you.”

“Why are you here?”

“Because I needed to see you. I already told you that—” I placed a finger over his lips.

“I want the ugly truth.”

He cocked his head to the side, inhaled, and brought his gaze back on me.

“The last time we fought, you hung up on me. At first, I was upset with you. But then I did a reality check and didn’t like what I saw. I’d become a cliché. I was watching a stupid show on TV, drinking beer as if it was water, dressed in dirty sweatpants and a white wifebeater. I don’t want to be a stupid joke. I’m afraid I’ll lose you if I keep going down the rabbit hole. This isn’t a life. I’m better than this. Than my demons. I’m not back to being myself quite yet, but now for the first time in a long time, I’m willing to get the help I need and be the man you deserve. I’m on new meds, and they’re helping with the anxiety.”

I swallowed hard. With my eyes closed, I sucked in a jagged breath.

“Thanks for telling me all this.”

Jeff scooted on the sofa and pulled me to him. “Come here, Princess. I want to hold you till the morning.” I sank my body in his, and Jeff covered us with the white Sherpa blanket I brought from the bedroom earlier. “Good night. I love you.”

My eyelids grew heavy. The last two days had been a roller coaster of emotions. “I love you. Don’t ever let me go,” I said, fighting a yawn.

“Never.”

* * *

The next morning, I woke up with a stiff neck. Did we spend the entire night on the sofa? I scanned the room, the morning sunlight casting a golden glow in the living room through the floor-to-ceiling panoramic windows. A smile tugged at my lips. Jeff tightened his grip around my waist. Everything seemed brighter this morning. Flutters danced in my belly. Something I hadn’t felt in a long while.

Jeff squirmed beside me but didn’t wake up. He was so handsome and looked so peaceful.

As if it was the first time, I grazed my lips over his. Once. Twice.

I filled my lungs with oxygen.

Jeff’s hand lowered to my ass, and he grabbed a handful of one cheek.

The fuzzy feelings in my belly returned.

“Please love me,” I said, my voice low. “I need to feel every inch of you in and on me.”