Page 61 of Princess and Country

Jeff lifted me, and I wound my legs around his waist.

“I’m so sorry, Princess. I love you. I don’t want to fight anymore. The last few months have been hell. I can’t live without you. You’re my heart. My soul. You own every bit of me. Will you ever be able to forgive me?”

His lips crashed on mine, careful at first, and then hungry and needy.

A turmoil of renewed passion filled me.

I traced the outline of his face with my hands, memorizing the shape of his lips, the high cheekbones, the straight nose under the pads of my thumbs.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” My voice broke. “That you came back to me,” I said between sobs. Jeff nodded, keeping his gaze to the floor.

“Always.”

Tears clouded my vision. “I can’t fight with you anymore. I’m not strong enough. But I’m not ready to let you go. You own every piece of me too.” I sniffled. Jeff’s arms tightened around me. “How long are you staying?”

“Forever, Princess. I’m never letting you go again. I’m staying for the rest of the tour or as long as you’ll have me. I’m not going back home if you’re not by my side. I can’t live when you’re not there. I can’t sleep when you’re mad at me. I never want to put tears in your eyes ever again. I love you too damn much. Don’t lose hope in me. In us. We’ll be good. I promise. It’s you and me.”

I anchored myself to this man. My man. The one owning me. Heart and soul.

“What about the grief, the nightmares, the anger?”

I pulled back so we could look at each other. I needed to look him in the eyes.

“I’ve been seeing someone. A shrink. It’s helping. It’ll get better. Yesterday’s fight pushed me over the edge. But it also made me realize how awful I’ve been to you since I came back. You did nothing but love me. And all I did was push you away. Or let my anger rule me. I can’t live like this anymore. I’ll get all the help I need. Just don’t walk out on us.”

Jeff’s fingers caressed my face. His lips kissed my tears away and replaced them with hope. Little seeds that suggested we could get through this. Together.

“You look like shit.” For the first time in a long, long while, Jeff’s lips curled into a ghost of a smile. “Go take a shower. Since I have the day off, we’ll sleep in.” I tugged at his hand and pulled him into the room.

I dried off my wet cheeks with the sleeve of my sweater.

“I’m sorry, Dahlia. I’m sorry for everything I put you through. This won’t happen again—”

With my fingers, I wiped off his tears. “It’s okay. Shhh. Don’t cry. It’s okay. I love you. We’ll be okay. It’s you and me, remember?”

Before joining Jeff in the shower, I called Carter.

“Hey,” he answered, his voice rough from sleep. No doubt I just woke him up.

I kept my voice low, not wanting Jeff to eavesdrop on my conversation. “Hey, Carter. Jeff’s here.”

All traces of sleep vanished from his voice. “You’re kidding, right?”

“I wish. He called earlier to let me know he was on his way. He wanted to surprise us. Please don’t say a word to him. It’ll break his heart. Please, Carter.”

I could imagine him scratching his forehead, like he always did when he was nervous. “I won’t.” He cleared his throat. My hair raised on end all over my body. I swallowed hard. “When is he leaving? We need to—we need to talk.”

I said nothing for a few seconds. “He’s not. He’s staying for the rest of the tour. Carter, I need to go. We’ll talk later.” And I hung up—not ready to face the mess my life had become lately—and joined Jeff in the shower, letting the water wash all my sins away. Again.

The next morning, I woke up to my man kissing my jaw, his hard length pressed between my thighs. My body vibrated underneath his. My throat closed up. Tears burned the back of my eyes, and a tightness coiled around my heart. “Good morning, Princess.” His gruff voice sent shivers through me.

When he leaned closer to kiss me, I turned my head to the side.

I blinked away the wall of tears messing with my vision.

Jeff pulled back and kneeled beside me. His hands framed my face, and he brushed the river across my cheeks away.

“I’m sorry. What was I thinking? It’s too soon. I’ve just missed you so much—” His voice cracked. “I don’t want us to be this way, Dahlia. I’m tired of the ice walls between us. I want to let you in. I’m ready.” My silent tears turned into wracking sobs. “Don’t cry, Princess. I’m right here. I won’t leave you ever again. You’re the most important person in my life.”