Page 134 of Pink and Country

Who put a smile on my face.

Who made breathing easier.

Who made my life brighter.

Who gave a sense to my existence.

With every sweep of her tongue, every caress of her hands, every moan from her mouth, a distance settled between us. I deepened our kiss. I held her tighter. Don’t go.

With every stare, every breath, and every beat of our hearts, April slipped away from me—from us—a little more. I intertwined our fingers, hoping she’d hang on to me. Please, hold on tight, Fairy. I’ll brave the storm for the both of us. I trailed kisses down her throat, swallowing her sobs and hoping to ease the depths of her pain.

We held on to each other as I thrust in and out of her, imprinting her with my love. I wanted to remember how she felt, how she tasted, how perfect she was for me. We never broke eye contact. My fingers entangled in her hair. My thumb grazed her lower lip, tracing its length.

Lost in April’s embrace, I made love to her. I put my heart out there. Every tiny piece of it. Raw and fragile. Strong and steady. It beat only for her. Like a shining star through the night leading the way back to me, so she couldn’t get lost.

By the time we both reached our climax, April was gone. Physically she remained here, underneath me, but mentally, she’d left me. Lost and confused. Broken and desperate. Her eyes never lied. Her body convulsed under mine. Our orgasms brought us further apart instead of uniting us. Ice walls raised around her. Thick. Sturdy. I doubted I’d ever be able to break them. I saw her through them but had no way to reach out to her. To hold on to her heart.

Mine bled.

The hemorrhage threatened to drain all the good in me.

Unable to process the idea I’d already lost her, I kissed her with everything left in me, wanting to hang on to her for a little longer, not ready to lose her yet. To lose us. I buried my head in her bare chest, the rhythm of her heart rocking me back to peace, and the air coming in and out of her lungs reminding me how alive I’d become with her in my life. With her in my arms.

April combed my hair with her fingers, sending shivers down to my toes.

Sobs broke free, and her hands tightened around me.

The air between us tensed.

We stayed there for a long time.

Her, crying.

Me, holding on to her, hoping she’d come back to me.

Today.

Tomorrow.

One day.

Eventually.

32

April

“L et me drive you home.” Carter’s low and hoarse voice rattled my heart, and more pieces scattered around in my chest.

I wanted to leave before the entire calvary got here. I inhaled through my mouth, forcing the bile to stay down, my gaze locked on his. I hugged myself, while Carter stood three feet away, his hands shoved into his hoodie’s front pocket, his head hanging low, and his chest quivering with each breath. I craved to touch him. To lose myself in him. One last time. Or till the end of time. I blinked back my tears.

“I’d rather not,” I said, shaking my head. Yes, please , I wanted to scream.

Carter flinched and placed the heels of his hands over his eyes, underlined by dark circles.

“Fuck, April. Am I supposed to let you leave without fighting back? Come on, work with me here. Do you believe I’ll ever let those psychos hurt you?” I pinched my lips together and averted my gaze. “You don’t get to choose for the both of us.” Carter wiped his runny eyes with his sleeve. My vocal cords had become useless. “Fairy, say something.”

I lifted my eyes toward him in slow motion. My face must have been a roadmap of sorrow.