Page 90 of Talk to Me

“Okay,” I said, trying to think of where to start.

“Okay?” Theo asked.

“Well, not okay okay,” I said. “I don’t really know what else to say.”

Theo swallowed hard, and I could tell he was forcing himself to not look away.

“Say if you like me back,” he said. “Or not.”

I thought about that for a moment.

“You’ll end up breaking my heart,” I said. “That’s what I’m thinking. No. I’m not thinking it, because I don’t know for sure, but I’m worrying about it.”

Theo looked down for a moment. When he looked back up, there was an intensity behind his eyes I couldn’t quite decipher, but he stared directly into mine.

“I have no plan to break your heart,” he said.

“But?” I chuckled nervously.

“There is no ‘but’,” Theo said. “My plan is to like you and be with you. I want to see where that goes. If I break your heart, it won’t be intentional.”

I couldn’t help but snort.

“I’ve never intentionally broken anyone’s heart,” Theo said firmly. “Ever. You can believe what you want about me, but that’s the truth.”

“Theo,” I said, “I think that—”

“No one is perfect,” Theo cut me off. “I know I’m not. But I try to be a good person. And I try to be a better person each day. I know I like you. And I think you like me. So, I think if you can find it somewhere in yourself to trust me, I could probably not break your heart for a very long time. At least not intentionally. I can promise that.”

Turning away from Theo, I stared out at the falling rain. It wasn’t getting more intense, but it wasn’t letting up, either. Sooner or later, we’d have to decide if we wanted to stay outside of the bookstore under the awning, freezing our tits off, or to make a dash for the dorms. Waiting for Mother Nature to make the decision for us wasn’t going to lead to anything good.

It occurred to me that waiting for…something…to make up my mind about Theo wasn’t going to help, either. If I ignored what was blossoming between us in our relationship, one of us was definitely going to end up hurt. Lying and telling Theo I didn’t like him back was going to lead to him being hurt for no reason—and, inadvertently, I’d be hurt in the end as well for denying my feelings. Not taking a leap of faith and seeing where things went did not seem like a viable option.

Sometimes, even when it’s a possibility, a potential broken heart is not a good enough excuse for anything.

“Theo, I—” I began as I turned back to him.

Before I could finish my thought, my face was between Theo’s hands and his lips were on mine. Stunned at first, my eyes shot wide and I was staring into his peace-filled, angelic face. His eyes were closed as he concentrated on kissing me. After a moment, I let my eyes shut, focusing on the kiss. Theo’s lips were cold and clammy against mine. His hands were like blocks of ice on the side of my face, and then my neck as they slid down to rest there. But I suddenly felt warm everywhere else.

A shiver shot through me from the cold, and Theo pulled back, chuckling softly as his eyes slid open and he looked into my eyes nervously. We stared at each other, our faces inches apart for a moment before either of us spoke.

“I like you, Josh,” he said again. “And I just need to know if you like me back.”

Sniffling from the cold as another shiver shot through me, I finally found the courage to answer.

“Yes,” I said. “I like you back. Happy?”

Theo smiled and reached up to tweak my nose. Then he leaned forward to kiss the tip of it before pulling back to stare into my eyes.

“Yes,” he said. “I’m happy.”

“But don’t hold my hand,” I said.

“What?” he gave me a funny smile.

Laughing, I turned away again.

“It’s going to be hard to run back to the dorms in this shit if you’re holding my hand,” I said, then shot him a glance over my shoulder. “First one back gets to choose the movie?”