Page 48 of A Straight Line

“Those weren’t fake cops.” Bang Bang waved me off. “Those are the new owners of the bar. I’m surprised Harry and Vic didn’t recognize them immediately. It was probably the uniforms.”

“What?” I laughed.

“Oh, yes,” She said. “I told them that it would do them good to be seen helping out celebrating the end of an era with Harry and Vic. They’re taking over a dynasty, honey. There has to be a proper changing of the guards, after all. This bar means something to this community—both to queers and non-queers. It represents this damn city moving out of the dark ages and into enlightenment. The dawning of a new era. Also, ripping their shirts open was my idea. If the boys know the new owners have pecs, well, that’ll keep ‘em coming back for more, right?”

Bang Bang winked at me, and I was laughing more.

“Nothing like a good deed and firm pecs to get the queers coming out in droves, right?” She quipped.

“I suppose so.” I agreed.

“So,” She said, “what’s really got you in here looking like someone who hasn’t got a friend in the world, Russy?”

Bang Bang turned to the mirror and started looking herself over again, giving me a moment to gather my thoughts.

“I guess,” I began, “I guess I just needed to be around someone who exudes joy, I guess?”

“I guess, I guess, I guess.” She shook her head. “Do you know how old I am, Russy? I don’t have time for you to beat around the bush. Landing strips are the rage right now anyway, so land the plane. Now, tell me what has you looking so glum. I’ve known you since you barely came up to my knee, and I know when something is wrong.”

“In all fairness,” I said, “with the heels you wear, it would take anyone a while to grow tall enough to go past your knee.”

Bang Bang cackled. I hadn’t been lying. Without heels, she was easily six-foot-three. With the heels…well, she was practically a giant.

“That’s fair,” She said. “But out with it. Eventually, your uncles are going to expect me to come out there and pretend I give a shit about their retirement, even though they’re selling the bar we’ve all come to think of as a second home over the years!”

“Actually,” I asked, “what are you going to do? Are you retiring from the biz?”

Bang Bang smiled.

“The pecs aren’t the only nice thing about the new owners,” She said. “They’ve guaranteed me twice weekly shows. Until I can’t get on the stage without a walker. Even then, I guess they’ll just wheel me out onto the dance floor to tell my dick jokes.”

I smiled. “So, you’ll still be around if I need a smile?”

Bang Bang leaned in. “I’m here now. That’s more important.”

I just stared at her.

“I see that look in your eyes,” She sighed. “What’s his name? Is it that boy you were shacked up with after college?”

“What?” I chuckled nervously.

“I told you I always asked Vic and Harry about you.” She shook a finger at me. “I’ve had my nose all in your business without you knowing.”

“Yeah,” I said, “I mean, yeah. Him. Clint.”

“Clint.” Bang Bang looked thoughtful. “What a shit name.”

I laughed. “Well, he’s kind of a shit person.”

“Cheat on you, did he?”

“No,” I said, “nothing like that.”

“Give you crabs?”

“No!”

“Steal your wallet and your favorite casserole dish?”