Page 47 of A Straight Line

Chapter 12

Because That’s Just What We Do

“Come in!” Bang Bang’s muffled response reached my ears through the dressing room door at the back of the club.

I had just knocked on the door and had leaned closer to listen for a response. The music and the sound of the partygoers were nearly deafening, so I didn’t want to miss being told to “enter” if Bang Bang actually heard the knock over everything else. As soon as I heard her response, I pushed the door open a crack, hesitant at first at intruding on her downtime after the show she had just given for free in honor of Harry and Vic. However, history told me that nothing set me right like a chat with Bang Bang, no matter how brief. Everything in the day had been leading up to getting a moment to at least say a few words to her, and having a few words returned.

Maybe it’s not widely known outside of the LGBTQ-plus community, but those in the community know it to be true—a drag queen is always the best person to go to when you need advice. Or a laugh. Or just to commiserate. They are the wisest and kindest of all queers—even if they sometimes make a living reading other people to filth. I had never been what most people would call “close” with Bang Bang, but she had always been a permanent fixture in my life. Being my uncles’ best friend meant that she was always nearby at all times, hovering over us like some tarted out, busted, fairy godmother.

I took a deep breath and pushed the door the rest of the way open, swinging it wide until I saw Bang Bang sitting at her dressing and makeup table across the room. Our eyes caught each other in the mirror over the table, and she looked confused for a moment. Then, recognition shot through her eyes, and her mouth turned up in a pleased smile. This, of course, brought a smile to my face as well. We hadn’t seen each other since before I was in college, but she recognized me. That alone, recognition from Bang Bang, was enough to bring back the joy I had lost minutes before. For a few moments, we just stared at each other in the mirror, then Bang Bang shook her head.

“Close the door!” She ordered. “Half the fucking bar will be in here in seconds if they think there’s another place to get their dicks out, Russy!”

I laughed as I quickly stepped inside the room and shut the door behind me gently, then put my back against it.

“Well, look at you,” She said, still gazing at me through the mirror. “I haven’t seen you in…five, six years?”

“Something like that. Maybe longer.” I shrugged, suddenly feeling guilty at my desire to see Bang Bang so desperately, yet having not visited in so long.

“And why is that?” She turned on her stool and jabbed her hands into her hips. “Are we not good enough for you down here in bum-fuck-Ioway or what?”

I couldn’t help but laugh again. Another shrug.

“Life?” I suggested. “Life always gets in the way of visits, right?”

“I know Harry and Vic didn’t take that as an excuse over the years,” Bang Bang said, “so it’s not going to work with me either.”

“I kind of thought maybe you would have forgotten me by now,” I said.

Bang Bang’s face softened.

“What a thing to say!” She exclaimed, rising from her stool to reach out to me.

Each finger was adorned with a long nail painted expertly in a flaming candy red. Blindingly brilliant jewels were set in rings on nearly every finger. Obviously, the jewelry was fake. Bang Bang wasn’t that famous of a drag queen. The red sequined floor-length gown, fitted perfectly to Bang Bang’s body, with sleeves that ran down to mid-forearm, twinkled in the lights. Her cotton-candy white wig, styled in a giant, almost-bouffant, was still atop her head, and not a lick of makeup was out of place. A large feathery flower was jammed into the wig at the side. Her high heels were the only component she had removed since entering the dressing room. When I thought about wearing high heels for any length of time, my legs hurt, so I could imagine that taking them off after any performance, no matter how short that performance had been, was probably orgasmic. A quick glance around the room and I spotted the patent leather heels tucked neatly away under the dressing table.

“How could I forget you?” Bang Bang asked as I stepped forward to take her hands in mine. “How many of my best friends of mine do you think have a nephew who is my favorite?”

“Liar.” I was only half teasing.

“You ask Harry and Vic,” Bang Bang said, pulling me in for a cheek kiss, “I ask about you every time that we get together.”

“I believe you,” I said, kissing her cheek.

Bang Bang popped me under the chin playfully as we pulled out of our embrace. She gestured for me to take a seat in a chair that was at the side of her dressing table, then she elegantly returned to her stool, gazing at herself in the mirror over the table. For a few moments, I watched her as she touched up her lipstick and eyeliner and adjusted her wig, though none of it was out of place. Once she was done with her wig and makeup, she adjusted the fake boobs that were stuffed down the front of her gown, and then turned on her stool to look at me again.

“So?” She asked.

“I just thought I’d come say ‘hi’ since I haven’t seen you in forever,” I said.

“Well, I don’t know much about being a rancher, but I know bullshit when I smell it,” She said. “You don’t look like you just wanted to say ‘hi’ to me.”

She said the last part in a mocking tone, though a smile formed on her face to take the sting out of her impression of me.

“Well, I mean, yeah, I wanted to say ‘hi’ to you and all.”

“And?” She asked.

“And to thank you for doing such a wonderful thing for Harry and Vic,” I said. “For a while, I thought you weren’t going to show. I’m sorry for thinking that—I mean, I should have known you would. You’re their oldest and dearest friend. But, well, it really made this night extra special for them. Especially since you hired those fake cops to bring everyone over here and do your farewell performance for them in their bar. Even if it won’t be their bar much longer.”