Page 48 of Certified to Handle You 3

Pressure took a drink. “I know it.”

“That girl don’t listen,” Kay’Lo said. “And Toni get around her and start actin’ like she forgot how I run my house. I fucked with ‘Nelle, but I ain’t finna let her drag my wife in whatever her and you got goin’ on.”

Pressure leaned back and looked at me then. “You gon’ have to do somethin’, nigga. I ain’t say today, and I ain’t say how, but she can’t sit at the house forever.”

I looked down at my phone when it buzzed again, and I let it ring until the screen went dark.

“She can go back home,” I said.

Kay’Lo’s eyes stayed on me. “You want her to?”

I ain’t answer right away ‘cause the answer should’ve been easy, and it wasn’t.

Pressure picked up his glass. “That’s what I thought.”

My phone started buzzin’ against the table, and all three of us looked at it. I let it ring until it stopped, then took another drink like I ain’t feel that number crawlin’ under my skin. A few seconds later, it started again with another number.

Kay’Lo looked at Pressure. “You see that shit?”

Pressure sighed and sat back. “She been like that at the crib too.”

I looked up at him. “What she doin’?”

Pressure took his time answerin’. “She there...”

Kay’Lo made a sound in his throat and reached for his glass. “I would’ve put her ass out.”

Pressure looked at him. “You did put her out.”

“And I’ll do it again,” Kay’Lo said. “And Toni know better to do the shit you let Pluto do.”

Pressure rubbed his hand across his chin. “Well Pluto ain’t Toni, nigga.“

“Nah, you right,” Kay’Lo said. “Pluto gon’ hold somebody while they cry. Toni gon’ hide a plan, lie by omission and look at you like you wrong when you call her on it.”

I looked between them and shook my head ‘cause even though this was my own shit, them niggas was talkin’ like I wasn’t even sittin’ here.

“You might have to talk to her eventually,” Pressure finally said.

I cut my eyes to him. “You want her out yo’ house, just tell her that shit instead of tryna get me to talk to her.”

“I want my wife back,” Pressure replied’. “Me and Pluto just got to a place where shit feel good again. Last night, we had music on, drinks poured and the house feelin’ good. Nigga, I was on a honey pack, ready to fuck. Then the doorbell ring, and yo’ woman on my steps cryin’ with no lashes on.”

Kay’Lo almost choked on his liquor. “No lashes is crazy.”

Pressure pointed at him. “Both of them bitches was gone.”

I looked down and rubbed my hand over my face. Kay’Lo saw my face and stopped laughin’ first.

“Look at you,” he said. “That’s the shit I’m talkin’ about.”

“What the fuck you talkin’ about?”

“You hear she cried her lashes off, and now yo’ dumb ass sittin’ there feelin’ bad.”

“I ain’t feelin’ bad.”

“You lyin’,” he said, pickin’ up a piece of caviar toast. “And you bad at it.”