Page 32 of Certified to Handle You 3

He pulled me closer, and my back touched the wall near the livin’ room entry. He kissed me again, deeper this time, and his hand slid to the side of my face.

For those few seconds, I let myself be here with him in this pretty ass house with the clean floors and the backyard and the future he was already tryna build. I let myself feel his mouth on mine and his hands on me without makin’ a mess of it in my head.

When we finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against mine. “Spend the weekend with me.”

“I will,” I said soft.

Later that night, I was at Couture’s apartment helpin’ him pack for the next week. His suitcase was open on the bed, and he had clothes folded in lil’ stacks while I sat beside it puttin’ socks and shirts where they needed to go. He moved around the room grabbin’ things, talkin’ about what time he had to leave, what he still needed to pick up and how he was gon’ call me once he landed.

I listened and helped without sayin’ much.

The apartment looked smaller to me now, even though it hadn’t changed. His one bedroom had never bothered me before. I had stayed over here, slept in his bed, ate with him on his couch and left clothes in his drawer without thinkin’ too hard about it. But after walkin’ through that house, every wall in the apartment felt like a countdown.

Couture zipped one side of the suitcase, then looked over at me. “You quiet.”

“I’m tired,” I said.

He came over and stood between my knees, then lifted my chin with his finger. “You still spendin’ the weekend with me?”

I looked up at him and nodded. “Yeah. I told you I was. I’mma pack tonight and be back after work tomorrow.”

He leaned down and kissed me, and I kissed him back. His hand touched the side of my neck, and mine went to his wrist while the room stayed quiet around us. I could feel how much he trusted the moment, and I could feel how normal it was supposed to be.

After I helped him finish packin’, I stayed a lil’ while longer. We talked on the couch, kissed some, and when it got late, I told him I needed to get back to my mama’s house so I could get ready for work tomorrow. Couture walked me to my car and kissed me again before openin’ my door.

“Text me when you make it,” he said.

“I will.”

He kissed my forehead, and I got in the car before my face could tell on me too much. I pulled out of his apartment complex with one hand on the wheel and the other pressed against my stomach like I could calm whatever was happenin’ inside me.

By the time I hit the main road, my thoughts was everywhere.

The house kept comin’ back to me. The front porch, the kitchen, the backyard, the rooms upstairs and Couture standin’ in the middle of all of it talkin’ about somewhere for us to come home to. My heart was beatin’ too fast for somebody just drivin’ home. My ring kept catchin’ lil’ flashes of light every time I passed under a streetlamp, and every flash made me feel like I was runnin’ out of time.

Couture hadn’t done nothin’ wrong by wantin’ a future with me. But I couldn’t sit there and pretend the thought of movin’ into a house with him ain’t make my feet start gettin’ cold.

I grabbed my phone at a red light and called Toni.

She answered after a few rings. “Wussup, cousin?”

I let out a breath and looked at the road when the light turned green. “Couture took me to look at a house today.”

Toni got quiet for half a second. “A house?”

“Yeah.”

“For y’all?”

“Yeah.”

“Umm… okay,” she said, and I could hear her tryna figure out which way to take it. “How you feel?”

I shook my head even though she couldn’t see me. “I’m bookin’ a flight to Trill-Land.”

Toni ain’t answer right away, and I was glad she ain’t rush me. I drove with my hand tight on the wheel, waitin’ on her to say what she was gon’ say.

“You sure?” she asked.