Page 86 of Seein’ Red

She startles, jumping slightly, turning around in the stall to face me.

“You’re a doctor.”

“I’ll have a doctorate when I graduate in a couple of weeks, but no one really refers to pharmacists as doctors.”

“Still, you know things.”

“Sure?”

“Antibiotics. Can they affect your cycle? Make you start way later than you normally would?”

Brenna steps out from the stall, biting her bottom lip as she thinks. “I don’t think so. At least I’ve never heard of that happening, and it’s not one of the major side effects that are talked about with them. That said, in some people, I’m sure it’s possible. Stranger things have happened. Any time you take a drug and alter your body chemistry, there is a risk of your normal bodily functions adjusting.”

“What about puking?”

Brenna chuckles. “I feel like nausea is pretty much a guaranteed side effect. And depending on the antibiotic, vomiting wouldn’t surprise me either. Some of those can be really rough on your stomach.”

My heart sinks, Brenna’s generic medical advice confirming what I think I already knew.

“Are these symptoms you’re having?” she asks, tilting her head to the side.

“Maybe…”

I swallow hard, not ready to admit all this out loud. Then again, who’s Brenna going to tell? She’s only here for the wedding, I’m sure. Which means she’ll be back in Athens before the rest of Hickory Hills gets wind of anything.

“Which medication, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“Augmentin.”

“Oh, that stuff is rough. It’s a heavy hitter, so I wouldn’t be surprised at all if it made your tummy sick. Add in all the stress and whatnot from the wedding…” Brenna makes a face, eyes going wide, teeth gritted together, her understanding of the volatility of the last couple of weeks shining through. “Everyone’s body chemistry is different, and again, not a medical doctor, but…given what I know about drug interactions…nausea, vomiting, and your cycle being off is totally plausible.”

Totally plausible.

All those things are totally plausible.

My brain speeds up, something I didn’t think possible, tossing those two words around over and over. I don’t know what to do with them—how to process them—all I know is that they taste bad. Horrible. Heavy, chalky, and with an aftertaste that won’t go away. Like that stuff the dentist uses to make an impression.

“Gotcha. Thanks,” I mutter, not sure how else to respond. Brenna was her normal helpful self. She doesn’t need to be weighed down with my crap.

“Good news is, least you’re not pregnant!” Brenna gives a happy shrug, then disappears into the stall.

Not pregnant.

My body recoils slightly, enough that I take a step back, hitting the counter. I lean back against it, thankful it’s there to hold me up. Because right now, I’m not sure that my legs could do it on their own.

Not pregnant.

I’m not pregnant.

Mere days ago I would have given anything to hear that. Think that. Know that. I would have been overjoyed for my period to show up and assure me that this was all just a fluke. That it was some kind of weird prank from the universe. A wrench thrown into an already chaotic week for no other reason than to keep me on my toes.

But then it changed.

I wish I could pinpoint when the switch flipped, but I can’t. Standing here now, running through this week, I can't put my finger on one exact moment. All I know is that it did flip. And there’s no flipping it back.

An ache slices through me, my entire body feeling hollow other than this burning. A pain I don’t understand and can’t put into words. One that is clinging on to me for dear life, taking root deep inside me. One that is, without a doubt, unforgettable.

All the joy and light that was bursting inside me earlier is gone, overshadowed by this revelation. The thoughts, hopes, and dreams shattered. Little shards of glass scattering around me, forcing me to walk over them if I want to move. Which I don’t.