Page 109 of Home Ice

His bottom lip shakes, and he presses them together and turns away. “I’m only saying, I might like it, and I might even want to stay a tiny bit too, but I can’t leave home. I’d miss my friends, and it would kill Grandma, and … well, M-mom’s there too, so⁠—”

I reach over and take his hand in both of mine.

Kasen’s attention flies back to me.

“I understand.”

“Do you though?”

“Of course I do. When I was your age, my friends were everything to me. Well, Barrett was everything to me. Him and hockey were all I cared about. We’ve just met, and we’re still getting to know each other, and as much as I might hate it, we have a long way to go before anything is normal about this. So, yeah, I understand.”

He manages a smile, and I let his hand go before I make him uncomfortable. “Plus, you travel a lot. So it’s not like I’d see you all the time anyway.”

“True …” It’s another reason in a whole list of them about why this is fucked. “Do you think … would you come and stay with me through your school breaks?”

“Yeah?” I’m caught off guard by how he lights up.

“If you want to. I could even talk to my coach and see if I can get special permission for you to travel with us if I have away games while you’re here.”

“That would be so cool.”

Yeah … it really fucking would be.

“Maybe I could do some weekends here too?” he suggests.

“I’d love that.”

“And you’ll be in Watesburg sometimes too, right? I’m assuming you’ll want to visit Coach?”

And that’s the reminder that while I might be working everything out with Kasen, it’s still a giant fucking question mark over what will happen with me and Barrett.

I’m not ready to give up on him, but I’ve been up half of the night, trying to figure out a solution, and I can’t do it. I’m tied to my contract. He’s tied to his responsibilities at home.

I try to make my smile match the one I was wearing a few seconds ago. “Whenever I can.”

“Then I think we’ll be good.” He reaches over and pushes my shoulder. “Besides, I can’t escape your constant text messages as it is. At least if you’re in a different state and don’t know my schedule, I can pretend to be too busy to answer.”

“Yeah, I’ll be making sure Amelia keeps me updated on where you are at all times.”

“Stalker.”

“And …” I probably shouldn’t promise this because it’s overstepping where Amelia is concerned, but if I’m going to be his dad, I’m going to advocate for him with the important things. “I’ll talk to Amelia. You’re doing that hockey camp scholarship, no question.”

“You will?”

“Of course. You earned it, and if we don’t want nepotism getting you through, you better learn as much as you can from as many people as you can. Being a professional player isn’t easy, especially for a goalie. Your fans can turn on you fast, and I want to make sure you’re ready for that.”

“Thanks.” It’s grudgingly genuine. “I know Grandma loves me, but hockey isn’t something we’ve ever seen eye to eye on. She couldn’t understand why Mom worked so hard for me to play.”

“Your mom was a really good person.”

“Yeah …” He swallows thickly. “Still wish she’d told you about me.”

“Me too, kid. Me too.” But I can’t hold it against her anymore because I take Kasen’s words for the forgiveness that they are.

“What time is our flight again?”

“We’ll need to leave in two hours.”