Page 108 of Home Ice

“Yeah.” He swims over and climbs out, surprising me by grabbing his towel and taking the sun lounger next to me. “They’re all so cool. Maybe I’ll get drafted to St. Louis someday.”

“Maybe you will.”

He throws me a look. “Will you still be playing?”

“That’s a hard question. Do I want to be? Yes. Will I be? Who knows. I’ve had a great career, and I don’t want to push past my prime, plus …”

“What?”

“Well, my contract is up in three years. You enter the draft in three. Something tells me that’s for a reason.”

“You’d retire then?”

I give him a long, searching look. “I’d retire right now if I could.”

“What?”

I turn so I’m facing him and set my coffee cup down on the tile. “I want to be your dad. I want to show up for you and prove to you that I mean it when I say I’m not going anywhere. I want you in my life, and the only way I can see that happening is if I quit.”

“But … you can’t.”

The reminder eats at some of that happiness I woke up with. I want Kasen and Barrett in St. Louis with me, but I know it’s not possible, which means I have to go to Watesburg to be with them. And I can’t do it. “Breaking my contract would not go over well.”

Kasen shakes his head and turns to mirror me. “Not the contract. Hockey. Without it, who the fuck even are we? Gran has tried to make me give it up so many times, and I can’t do it. Not even to make her happy. I literally can’t. And I know you feel the same way.”

“I do, but …” I wait for him to look up curiously. “You’re worth the sacrifice. So is Barrett.” If there was anything at all I could do to make it happen, I’m at the point where I would.

I’m not expecting when Kasen whacks me. “No quitting. Who the hell taught you resilience? Mom always said that when you make a commitment, you see it through, and now it’s your job to teach me the same.” He shrugs. “It’s also your job to help make sure I get to live my dream, too, because getting into the NHL is hard, and if I can play the nepotism card, you better believe I will.”

I choke on my laugh. “Nepotism is for people without talent. That’s not something you need to worry about.”

“Maybe not, but it’s nice to have it in my back pocket.”

“Fair enough.” But for the first time, I think I can read his tone. He might be joking about nepotism, but he really does want me to stay put.

“When I have a house like yours,” he says, relaxing back on the sun lounger, “I’m going to have all types of secret passages and booby traps. You better watch yourself when you come and visit me.”

I stare at him, and I don’t know if he knows I’m staring, but wow. Kasen sees me in his future. “Can’t wait.” I cut off there because I’m suddenly choked up.

He looks around the huge backyard, and his voice gets softer. “Do you want me to move here?”

“Yes.”

He turns a grin my way. “Need a second to think about it?”

“Not at all. If it was up to me, you and Barrett would both move in. Tomorrow.”

“Ah … so you guys are fucking.”

Well, at least I know he didn’t hear us last night. “Still none of your business.”

The teasing slips from his face. “You know I can’t, right?”

I do know that, but hearing it come from him still guts me. “Yeah …”

“It’s nothing personal. I, umm … like, obviously, it’s great here. And everything. And you’re okay too, I guess.”

“Just okay?”