Page 18 of Falling for the Hotshot

“She’s getting married to an EMT. Looks like we will have a doctor in the family after all.” I almost laughed out loud.

“You know that EMTs are not doctors, right?” Here we go, Lord. Please keep my mouth shut if there's a chance I’m going to disrespect these people, even though… I struggled with my own desires in prayer as just a few seconds of talking with my mother made me want to chuck the phone right over the railing.

“Close enough.” Her words were defiant and at this point, I realized I had to walk away. Conversing with her was just pulling me into sin. It was pulling me into a cycle of hateful thoughts, hateful words… She was never going to be the person I wanted her to be. My dad was a little softer, and I could still have a relationship with him to some degree. But unless my mother’s personality did a 360 degree turn, I couldn’t see how this was conducive.

“Well, I’ll let you go celebrate your future nephew-in-law. I better get back to work. Have a great day!” And with that, I ended the call. It wasn’t my best work, but it wasn’t my worst, either.

It took two to tango, and I’d had some blowout fights with my parents over the years where I’d said some terrible things in response to the terrible things they’d said to me. I didn’t want to stoop to that level ever again.

As I leaned on the railing, I did consider chucking the phone right off of it. I even pulled my arm back as far as it would go and did a few test throws to imagine how far it would go. But then, I remembered this phone wasn’t mine. I could throw mine off the side. I should have thrown mine out, really. This phone, however, probably was very expensive and was outside of my right to use for personal matters and dispose of, so I carefully walked it back inside and set it on its charger, repositioning the antenna so it pointed to the skylight above it. Even inside, it connected and had service, which was reassuring.

It was almost time for my morning check-in, but I needed a few minutes to myself before I could get my mind back in work mode. Before I could clear the slate of the conversation I’d just had.

After truly giving everything surrounding the relationship with my parents to God, I went down to my sun shower and bathed, feeling the rising sun on my face. There was a heat in the air already, and the water was as warm as it had been the whole time I’d been here. I felt refreshed. I felt at peace with the situation.

Back in the lookout, I had one more thing I wanted to do. In my luggage, I pulled out the ring from my zippered compartment. The ring that Ray gave me, that for some reason, I wanted to have up here with me. I examined it again, as if seeing it for the first time. It was a very plain solitaire ring with a not-so brilliant diamond inside. A humble ring, which I had no qualms with whatsoever, as I never was huge into diamonds. I always pictured getting a gemstone ring, actually.

Ring in hand, I went out to the porch of the lookout. Gulping in the fresh air, I let the last of my tears wring out from my eyes over this broken promise. I thanked God for letting me see who Ray was before anything further happened. Before we married. And with that, I flung the ring out into the wilderness, as far as I could throw it.

*****

It was time for my morning check-in. But when I called in, a guy answered. I was so surprised to hear a masculine voice on the other end of the radio that I felt my cheeks redden. There was something about his voice that sounded... younger. Cute? My intrigue spiked immediately.

We didn’t say much of anything, and it was all professional as I gave my mandatory report. But I held onto the radio for longer than I should have, half expecting him to come back on the line and ask me something else. If there really was nothing on the horizon. If the skies were blue. If the storms were at bay.

A few hours later, just as I was about to make a small lunch consisting of crackers and canned goods, my radio made a clicking noise. As if someone was trying to call me. I hadn’t heard that before, so I figured it was best to do a radio check. The male voice on the other line again caught me off guard, considering I’d only been speaking to women. Just the other day, I joked with the Lord how I was ready to speak to another guy in a non-romantic way, and now, I had my chance. And, this time, he seemed a little more relaxed and able to talk.

Quickly, I found myself caught up in a short conversation about Stephanie as I daydreamed about her life surrounded by horses of all kinds and ages. I had told the man on the other end of the line how much I enjoyed colts and fillies, because there was nothing cuter than a baby horse, when Kerry abruptly came on the line. I felt like I’d just gotten into trouble at school. Like maybe tying up the line wasn’t as welcome now that I’d been here for more than a few weeks. Maybe when Kerry, the boss, was around, I shouldn’t be going on and on about idle things. We quickly ended the call, but not before she asked if Blaze had gotten me sorted.

What sort of name was Blaze? Was that a nickname, I wondered? It sure suited the job, however. Fire dispatch with a name like that? I found myself feeling a little intrigued, before also giving it to God.

*****

As the evening rolled in, there was no sign of fire or smoke in any of my surrounding views. The skies were clear, with little chance of lightning storms, it seemed as well. For all intents and purposes, it was time to call into dispatch for my regular check-in. My hand hovered on the button, wanting to keep things professional, as I never knew who was listening in. I wanted to keep this job, after all.

“Tower Three to Dispatch,” I said, calmly, but with a noticeable shrill to my voice. The smooth masculine tones came back a few seconds later.

“Dispatch to Tower Three, go ahead.”

“Evening report—no visible signs of smoke or fire anywhere, copy.”

“Thanks, Autumn.” My heart stood still when this guy—Blaze—said my name. I liked the sound of it coming out of his mouth. This was crazy! Lord, please keep my mind in check. I literally know nothing about this guy, and it’s pretty apparent that I’m majorly on the rebound! I set the radio back on its hook and paced around for a few minutes, feeling rattled.

Chapter 19

Match to a Flame

Blaze

I had no idea working a desk could be so thrilling. Not quite like fighting the fire in person but quickly moving up the rungs of excitement.

Every day, I’d hear from the firewatchers. Sometimes, there would be minor sightings of smoke or reports of lightning strikes, but nothing major, despite this being the driest year on record and also the windiest that anyone remembered. It was perfectly ripe for fire weather, and if one started at any spot this summer, in these conditions—it would be one for the books.

But fall, for all intents and purposes, was here. Kerry was bringing in pumpkin donuts with a fall-infused French press. Sometimes, she would bring muffins with a vat of maple-flavored coffee. Yesterday, another dispatcher lit a small pumpkin candle at the desk.

“If you don’t find a fire, it looks like you’re going to make one, huh?” I pointed to it, and she just shrugged. Her name was Melody, and she’d been working for the department for twenty-six years. It was safe to say she did what she wanted.

“My husband is allergic to fragrance. This is the only time I get to enjoy candles.” She gave me a stern look. “Do you want me to put it out because you’re afraid of me knocking it over?” I shook my head, putting my hands up in defeat.