Page 117 of Not Until I Found You

I’ve always been told not to do something permanently stupid just because I’m temporarily upset. It’s the kind of advice that sounds obvious until you’re standing in the wreckage of your own emotions, realizing a mantra doesn’t do much good once the damage is already done. Even though Zane’s decision to rush off wasn’t something permanent, the expression on his face lingers.

I stay rooted in place, my hands hovering uselessly at my sides. My thoughts tangle over each other, trying to make sense of how we went from being curled up on his couch…to this. Didn’t I explain to Zane that I’m not anything like Lily. I would never break his heart, especially in the way that she did. I thought he knew me well enough, but he still chose to be cautious of me. It stings, knowing that, after everything, he can still pull away like that.

A hint of understanding enters my thoughts, because I can see how my mom’s words could push Zane into being more guarded. I turn slowly, finding Mom standing a few steps away, watching me with an expression I can’t quite read.

“You didn’t have to say all of that in front of him,” I tell her, shaking my head in disapproval. “You knew what you were doing.”

Her brows draw together. “I’m trying to help you.”

“I don’t need your help, Mom.” I let out a short breath and glance back to Zane’s cabin before forcing my attention on her. “You didn’t even take a moment to hear me out.”

Silence stretches between us, and her face clouds with uneasiness.

“I’m sorry, Maxinne,” her voice catches before she clears her throat.

I draw in a breath and let it out slowly, wrapping my arms loosely around myself as I glance toward the cabin behind her.

“Let’s go inside,” I demand, my voice steadier now, even if everything inside me still feels raw. “If we’re going to keep talking about this, I don’t want to do it out here.”

She hesitates, like she’s not sure if she’s being invited in or called out. After a second, she nods and follows behind me. I lead her into the cabin and hold the door open. As she passes, my gaze catches on the bandage near her hairline, and the sight of it still rattles me, no matter how upset I am, because I hate knowing she’s hurt.

The door clicks shut behind us, sealing us inside with everything that’s still waiting to be said. Mom’s gaze drifts slowly around the cabin, taking in the worn furniture, the stack of books beside the couch, the little pieces of the life I’ve been building here. Covewood has always been the place she refuses to understand. And look at her now; she’s standing in the middle of it.

A knot tightens in my stomach. It feels like two worlds that were never meant to collide have suddenly been forced together, and I’m standing somewhere between them, desperately hoping neither one falls apart.

“So this is Ashton’s place?” she asks, curiosity slipping in where tension once was.

“Yup,” I answer, already moving past her toward the kitchen.

“It’s nice,” she adds, glancing around again. “It feels like him.”

She keeps her tone gentle, like she’s trying to find familiar ground between us, but I don’t take the bait. Instead, I busy myself with the kettle, filling it with filtered water and setting it on the stove. The small routine movements give my hands something to do and focus on.

“Has Ashton always kept it like this?” she continues, her voice drifting from the living room. “Or is this your influence?”

I let out a quiet breath, not turning to see what she’s referring to, and set two mugs on the counter. “Mom. Could you just sit for a minute?” I glance over my shoulder, meeting her eyes.

She nods slowly and moves toward the couch, lowering herself onto the edge of it. I turn back to the stove, watching the kettle even though it hasn’t started to heat yet, while my mind wanders back to Zane. He’s only next door, close enough that I could cross the yard in seconds and try to fix whatever just happened—if I even know how to.

I close my eyes and lean against the counter as the look on his face flashes into my mind. The hesitation, the doubt, and then how his heart slipped into protection mode. I press my fingertips against the edge of the counter, grounding myself in the here and now. I need to face one issue at a time, and right now, I need to figure out whatever this is happening between my mom and me.

My eyes snap open at the sound of the kettle’s soft whistle. I carefully pour the water over the tea bags once it’s ready, the steam curling around me as I carry the mugs into the living room. I hand one to Mom before sitting down beside her, the cushion dipping under my weight.

I draw in a slow breath and let it out, gathering whatever is left of my composure.

“Okay.” I look at her. “Let’s talk.”

She swirls the tea bag in her mug before setting it down and turns so she’s fully facing me. I mirror her without thinking, my knee angling toward hers.

“I’m sorry for showing up here unannounced. I needed to understand what’s so special about Covewood that it’s worth risking everything for?”

A bitter laugh escapes me before I can stop it.

“Risking everything?” I repeat. “You make it sound like I’m throwing my life away.”

“Maxinne—”

“No.” I shake my head. “That’s exactly what you’ve been doing since you got here. Acting like I’m making some reckless decision only because you don’t like it.”