Page 116 of Not Until I Found You

Silence falls again, and I realize, with a sinking clarity, that I’ve been standing here listening to every word like it doesn’t involve me. Like I’m not part of the risk she’s talking about. I look at Maxinne, and all I can see is the distance that could come between us. The three-hour drive to and from both towns. The promises that start off strong but slowly wear thin.

“You’ve only known each other a few months,” her mom says again. “That’s not enough time to build a future on.”

“Maybe…” my voice cuts through the tension.

Maxinne turns toward me, her brows pulling together in confusion, eyes red and shining with tears.

I swallow, forcing the words to come out past the weight sitting in my throat. “Maybe she’s right.”

Maxinne’s expression falters, like she didn’t hear me correctly. “What?” she asks, barely above a whisper.

I hold her gaze, even though everything in me is pulling the other direction. “This is…a lot, and it’s happening fast.”

“Zane.” There’s a warning in the way she says my name, hurt already bleeding through.

“I’m not saying I don’t want this,” I add quickly. “I just—” I drag a hand through my hair, searching for the words. “Maybe we should slow down. Make sure we’re not rushing into something you’re not ready for.”

Maxinne blinks at me, her gaze moving between my eyes like she’s looking for the version of me she was talking to only moments ago. Her lips part as if she’s waiting for me to smile and admit I’m joking, but I don’t.

“That’s not what you were saying earlier.” She stops herself, her breath catching, and shakes her head. “We were on the same page.”

“I know. I—” I glance away this time, scrubbing a hand down my face before forcing myself to meet her eyes again. “I need to know this is real, Max. That it’s not just…right now.”

“It is real,” she insists, stepping toward me. “I’ve thought this through.”

I take a step back before I even realize what I’m doing.

“I think…” I pause, my voice catching before I push through it. “I think you should finish this conversation with your mom in private and take some time to think about what’s best for you.”

Her face falls completely now. “Zane, don’t do this.”

“I’m not,” I say, even though it doesn’t sound convincing. “I don’t want to be the reason you—” I cut myself off, jaw tightening. “You deserve to make this decision without me in your way.”

“That’s not what this is,” her voice breaks.

Every instinct in me screams to close the space between us, to take her face in my hands and tell her this isn’t what I mean. Instead, I stay exactly where I am. My fingers curl into my palms until they ache, because if I touch her right now, I’ll cave.

“Zane…”

My name leaves her lips so quietly it nearly undoes me. I squeeze my eyes shut for half a second before letting out a low whistle. Sven’s head lifts immediately, his tail thumps once against the ground, and he glances between us as if he’s trying to figure out why neither of us is moving.

“Zane…” Maxinne pleads.

I glance at her one last time.

“Just…take some time, okay?”

She nods, finally meeting my eyes, but they look wrong. They’re distant and guarded and nothing like the woman I’ve fallen for. I turn before I can change my mind, heading back toward my cabin with Sven at my side. I don’t look back because if I do, I won’t keep walking.

I tell myself this isn’t goodbye. It’s only a pause. A hard, unfair interruption in our happy little bubble we’ve created together. But fear creeps in anyway. I’ve trusted God this far. I have to trust Him now, even when it feels like my heart is breaking all over again.

“Please,” I whisper into the quiet, “let this work out.”

The words hang there, unanswered, and all I can do is wait.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Maxinne