Page 36 of His Christmas Love Song

SEVENTEEN

Their first first kiss was so brief and had taken him by such surprise, Ryan hadn’t been able to catalog anything about it.

Their second first kiss is longer, slower, and infinitely sweeter. Ryan tries to be present for every detail, from the firm pressure of Jesse’s softer-than-expected mouth to the sexy little groan he makes when Ryan slips his tongue between the seam of his lips. He opens up readily and the first taste of the inside of Jesse is so perfect that Ryan surges forward, needing more.

Before he realizes it, they’ve walked themselves to the couch. Jesse sits down heavily. Ryan wastes no time climbing on top of him, straddling him, knees on either side of Jesse’s waist. He’s fantasized about being in this position so many times, Jesse’s long, strong body beneath him, Jesse’s enormous hands cradling Ryan’s jaw as they stick their tongues down each other’s throats. It’s every bit as hot as Ryan imagined, gets him turned on just as much as he always suspected it would.

He wants to get closer, to drink Jesse in now that he’s miraculously been given access to the precious resource that is Jesse’s mouth, but his arm in the sling is getting in the way. He shifts, knocks his elbow against Jesse and it sends a jolt of pain up his arm. A noise of discomfort leaves him before he can call it back.

Jesse stops kissing him immediately at the sound of distress. “Ryan, what’s wrong?”

“I’m okay.” Ryan doesn’t want to stop kissing Jesse. Basically ever.

“No, you’re not,” Jesse says, physically lifting Ryan back a few inches to give them both room to breathe. The bossy, entitled manhandling should be annoying and it is, but it’s also more than a little arousing.

“Where is your ice pack? You need to eat something and then you can take more medicine.”

Ryan looks around. The ice pack got lost somewhere between Ryan feeling like his world was crumbling around him and Jesse telling him he’s in love. With Ryan. The most wonderful, improbable thing in the world. He still can’t quite believe it. If this really is heaven, he doesn’t care as long as in this heaven, Jesse loves him back.

“Come on, we’ll get breakfast and then you need to rest,” Jesse says, shifting Ryan off his lap and onto the couch.

“Killjoy,” Ryan mutters. “You know what would really make me feel better? An orgasm. All those endorphins.”

He’s pleased to see a pink glow steal onto Jesse’s cheeks. “Yeah. Well. There will be time for that later.”

“Promise?”

“That’s a promise I know I can keep,” Jesse says. “Now let’s get dressed.”

Half an hour later they’re in the lodge’s great room, basking in the warmth of the fire pit and digging into breakfast. The snow has stopped falling, and the roads have been plowed. Joy told them they got thirteen inches overnight when she brought them coffee. Ryan eats awkwardly with his left hand, but it’s not so bad. The food is delicious, the coffee takes the edge off the ache in his arm, and the ibuprofen Jesse thrusts in his face after he’s had a few bites of food helps, too.

Even though he’s bummed about his elbow and the prospect of not being able to play for a few weeks, it’s hard to be in a bad mood when it feels like everything he’s ever wanted has been handed to him on a silver platter. Jesse keeps smiling at him, this shy, pleased smile and Ryan can’t help but smile back. They probably look disgustingly besotted to anyone within view, but he doesn’t care.

He’s never felt this way before, like everything is actually going to work out. Jesse’s been his grounding force for six years. He had been beginning to think that was a bad thing, keeping Ryan from having to face the world on his own. But now he realizes it’s okay. He can make it on his own, but he doesn’t have to. He’s lucky, he knows that, and he’s not going to turn down the best thing that ever happened to him to prove some stupid point to himself.

“What are you thinking about?” Jesse asks as they linger over their coffees.

Ryan takes a moment to answer. “The future, I guess.”

“What about it?”

“Just, well, looking forward to it.” Ryan feels his cheeks heat and wonders if he can blame the flush on the fire pit.

“Me too,” Jesse says, his lips curving up at the edges, his eyes glittering like silver fire.

That’s the most mind-blowing part. Not that he and Jesse are actually on the same page about changing their relationship status, or that Jesse’s kisses are Ryan’s new favorite thing. It’s how soft and open Jesse’s being with him. It’s as if there’s been this side of Jesse all along, and Ryan just didn’t notice. Jesse’s always been careful with him, always acted in his best interests, or tried to. But it’s like Ryan was watching Jesse through dark glasses, as if the love and joy inside his friend was too bright for Ryan’s eyes, and now the glasses are off, but it turns out Jesse’s pure, unadulterated self is actually the perfect frequency for Ryan after all. He wonders if they could have had this a long time ago if only he’d been a little bit braver.

But they’re focusing on the future, not the past.

“So, what’s next?” He supposes even if they’d like to spend the next week holed up in the cabin, chasing some of those endorphins Ryan is certain will be excellent painkillers, they have other responsibilities.

“Well, first Hank’s going to want to look at your elbow. Oh shit, and I completely forgot about Cameron. He’s going to want to know you’re okay, too. And I guess we should see about getting the car towed and your stuff back. I’ll call the rental company and get that sorted out and—”

“Jess?”

“Yeah?”

“I love how you can populate a to-do list in less than thirty seconds but don’t forget to pencil in some time for us.”