Page 62 of Alec

Chapter Sixteen

The night after they had all been freed, the McKeran put on a party in the bailey, gathering the entire clan and all their vassals to dance, drink and eat together in a marvelous celebration. Some of the men played pipes and drums, others sang old songs together as they tapped whiskey kegs and roared with laughter.

It should have all been wonderful for Olivia to see, but she could only wander around trying to hide the fact that she was aimless and moping.

“The laird told me the binding ceremony shall be held in another moon,” she heard Farlan telling a group of maids, who appeared disappointed. “That should give all time to recover and prepare.”

“We’ve never held the ceremony in spring,” one of the kitchen maids complained. “’Tisnae tradition.”

“’Tis our lord’s command,” the seneschal told her. “I reckon he also wants naught to interrupt the new matches to be made.”

Everyone seemed to be talking or bickering about that, Olivia thought, even more depressed. Alec couldn’t join in the ceremony because he was only half-mortal, but that wouldn’t stop him from taking another lover whenever he wanted. Inga was certainly his match in looks. Elspeth had a dark beauty that no one else could rival. In fact she could only name one woman he would never again take as a lover.

You cannae have me, Mistress Gibson.

Finally, she looked for and found the one McKeran she suspected could explain things.

Rory smiled at her as she sat down across from him.

“My thanks for freeing me and my brothers, my lady,” he said in a voice so low it barely registered.

From the scent of whiskey that came from him, he’d been drinking. At the same time, he didn’t seem intoxicated. In his eyes, strange greenish-brown glints sparkled in the blue irises, and when he smiled he looked so magnificent that several maids nearby squealed. He seemed to know everyone’s secrets, and there was only one way he could be capable of that.

“You can come into other people’s dreams, can’t you?” Olivia told him, noting that he didn’t bat an eyelash in reaction. “That’s how you know so much about everyone—about Alec.” When he shrugged she grew a little annoyed. “Why didn’t you ever try and help him, Mr. Armorer?”

“He doesnae wish to be helped or loved. ’Tis why he’s sent you away.” He watched her face for a moment. “And you wish to ken what made him do thus.”

She nodded. “You seem to be the guy with all the answers.”

“Secrets, they’re as graves where we bury the parts of ourselves we hate.” His gorgeous multicolor eyes shifted past her, and pain flickered across his flawless features for a moment. “’Tis no’ my place to speak for Alec.”

“The barn you showed me in the dream.” She frowned. “That’s his secret. That’s where Alec slept on his grandfather’s farm. He already told me about how he was chained up in there.”

“’Tis more that makes the barn his prison, unless you free him.” The armorer got up, bowed politely to her, and walked back into the stronghold. As he did he cast a single glance at the clan’s chatelaine, who was standing and watching Tasgall and Ava on the other side of the room.

“Figure it out on my own, got it.” She rose and made her way through a group of clansmen slapping each other on the back, grinning as they bowed to her, and joined Darro and Farlan. “Chieftain, have you seen Alec lately?”

“Aye, my lady.” He nodded in the direction of the garrison hall. “He’s just met with our patrol captains, and likely should come soon.”

“He’s hiding from her,” the seneschal told him, and then said to Olivia, “Alec rarely joins our celebrations. ’Tis his habit to hide in his chamber in the garrison hall until midnight, and then roam the passages until dawn again.”

“The eejit.” Darro rubbed the back of his neck. “Shall I escort you to our war master, my lady? I’d be glad to knock some sense into his thick skull.”

“That’s all right, chieftain. I have my own way of doing that,” she assured him.

Olivia didn’t rehearse anything in her head as she went into the garrison hall. She needed more facts from Alec and getting him to talk was going to be hard enough. Using what she’d learned from her therapist, she had to help Alec on the path to healing from the wounds he’d concealed from everyone. Until he faced them he would always be in pain.

Like you could help him. You couldn’t even help yourself, you stupid little freak.

Mae’s ghost appeared in her mind, just as she always did: hair scraped back so tight it pulled the skin at her temples into tiny peaks, an ankle-length dark skirt, and a blouse a size too large for her raw-boned frame. She frowned so much the corners of her mouth remained bowed toward her chin; Olivia couldn’t remember once seeing her smile—and in her eyes, so dark brown they almost looked black, that bitter sharpness that could only be chased away by one of her rages.

Aren’t you going to sass me back? Mae waved a hand behind her eyes. It’s what you like to do since running away from home. That and blaming me for all your foolishness.

All of her aunt’s fingernails had been bitten down so often, Olivia noticed for the first time, that the tops of her fingertips rolled over the ragged edges.

It had always been easy in the past to launch into another silent argument with her birth mother. Yet for once Olivia didn’t experience the desire to do so. She looked at the woman who had never wanted her, who had been sick and terrified, who had taken out all her self-loathing on a child who couldn’t escape her. Nor had Mae been able to run away from the accidental fallout from a young love affair. They had both been trapped by circumstances beyond their control.

It was time to end this once and for all.