Page 2 of The Secret to Belonging

he held a thermometer against the hot lightbulb

and watched the mercury rise

then he draped a warm, wet washcloth on your face

your skin felt clammy

Mom will think you’re sick, he said. cough a little, too

he leaned in closer and lowered his voice

Mom’s a sucker, he said. if you’re convincing enough

she’ll bring you pudding and the portable TV

he was right. it played out exactly like he said

later that year he got caught shoplifting

with the kid who had bullied you

your parents blamed the other boy

nine years later

you’re a junior in high school

and

the hardest thing about having a brother with no conscience and a taste for cocaine is watching your parents pretend everything’s fine

it’s just a phase

everyone experiments

he can always get his GED

your parents put more spin on your brother’s life than Magic Johnson puts on a basketball

TWO (TO)

fall college night at your high school

your parents won’t show up

of course they won’t

they can’t think about anything but your brother

and his impending date with the Los Angeles County Court

jail

bail

they’re scared out of their minds

this time he’s over eighteen