Page 1 of The Secret to Belonging

Glendale, CaliforniaLatitude: 34.1425° N

Longitude: 118.2551° W

ONE (EN)

on your father’s desk there is a photograph

your mother must’ve taken right after you were born

your father is holding you in a rocking chair

you are puckered and new

your brother is leaning over your father’s arm

kissing the top of your head

your tiny hand grips one of his two-year-old fingers

you’ve never been close to your brother

but you like having photographic evidence

that it wasn’t always a shitshow

when you were in second grade

and your brother was in fourth

you were bullied by a kid

who shook you down for milk money

every day for a week you handed over your nickel

then cried in the girls’ bathroom

at dinnertime Friday you announced

you would not go back to school

nonsense, said your mother. you were going

your father handed out the weekly allowance

and your brother took you aside

said if you paid him your money

he would show you how to stay home

you gave him all three of your quarters

linty from your father’s pocket

your brother closed your bedroom door

and turned on the desk lamp