Page 540 of Lessons in Cruelty

Someone who will be there for me when I fall.

Because I always fall.

Fall, and shatter.

If Kai’s not there to pick up the pieces…I won’t survive.

If I’m not there when he breaks, maybe he won’t survive either.

This isn’t love.

It’s survival.

We’re both trapped in an ocean of trauma, destined to go under, unless we find something to hold on to.

I found Kai.

And I’d rather drag him down with me than drown alone.

Chapter 70

Kai

My mind is fucked right now, and it’s got nothing to do with my hangover. It was finding Haven in my fucking bed when I woke up this morning.

I have no clue what time she got here because I don’t remember waking up when she climbed in. Which means I was still passed out drunk when it happened.

Thank fuck it wasn’t earlier in the evening.

I have a hazy memory of getting super emotional. I might even have cried a little.

I’d fucking die if she ever saw that.

Now I’m pushing back all that worry, fighting a hangover, and trying not to come in my boxers.

I woke up with a hard on the size of the Washington monument, and fuck me if I wasn’t five seconds away from flipping Haven over and railing her as soon as I realized I was awake and this wasn’t the start of a wet dream.

Instead, I went to the bathroom, tried not to hit myself in the eye when I peed, and gargled some of Jace’s mouthwash because I’d left my caddy back in the room like an idiot.

Now Haven’s talking about living at the beach in a van, and I’m seriously convinced this is just a wet dream and I’ll be waking up with stained boxers.

I drag the sheets down her body until they’re draped over her calves, and trail my fingers up her legs.

Fuck, she looks hot in my football jersey.

Who am I kidding?

She always looks hot.

That first day she arrived at AHC in those stained jeans and flip-flops, hair a mess, I nearly sprained my dick the moment I saw her.

I slip a finger behind the hem of her underwear, groaning when I feel how wet she is.

“Fuck, Haven,” I murmur against her ear as I roll on top of her. “I’ve barely even touched you and you’re fucking soaked.”

I duck my head, our mouths an inch apart as I take in the way the morning light catches in her hair, turning the odd strand into shimmering bronze.

She bucks under me, grinding against my dick hard enough to make me groan again. “What you gonna do about it?”