Page 504 of Lessons in Cruelty

I put the envelope back on his bookshelf, blinking furiously as pressure builds behind my eyes.

No way I’m crying about this.

As I turn back to the bed, where I plan to definitely kick Kai on the way in, I spot the corner of a black spiral-bound notebook peeking out beneath a stack of legal pads.

My heart stutters in my chest.

Must be Kai’s Activity Log.

I guess it makes sense—he’d had to have taken Professor Rooke’s class to become his TA. But why the hell did he keep it?

As soon as I’m done with Bastian’s class, I’m burning mine. It became more than an assignment to me. I was using it like a fucking grudge book. Noting every wrong deed anyone ever committed against me.

Kai.

My dad.

My uncle.

…Mom.

I’m reaching for it while my mind’s still ablaze.

He’s only got himself to blame, leaving something like this out here where anyone can find it.

ACTIVITY LOG

As soon as I pick it up, I can feel it’s as well used as mine. The edges of the pages are uneven, like they’ve been rifled through plenty of times.

The cover’s even a little creased in one corner, just like⁠—

No.

Fuck no.

—just like mine.

I don’t know how long he’s had this, but I’m pretty sure he’s read it cover-to-cover already.

And he still had the audacity to treat me like a piece of shit?

My eyes cut back to the envelope.

I’m fucking glad he never sent that letter.

Never gave me that stupid necklace.

They say people never change, but Kai is the exception that proves the fucking rule. He might have been sweet and kind in his own unique way, but that Kai’s long dead. Why the fuck am I pretending there’s a chance I can resurrect him?

The rage hits me so hard I have to grip the bookshelf to stay upright. He read every entry…and he still called me a slut.

Still hurt me.

Still made me feel like I was nothing but Riverside trailer trash.

I want to bash his head in with one of his trophies.

I want to burn this whole fucking frat house down—with him inside.