Page 503 of Lessons in Cruelty

Easily recognizable, because it’s the same stationery Kai used when we wrote letters to each other.

I should have stopped myself. Going through a frat house’s bathroom cabinet is one thing. Rifling through your ex-best-friend-turned-enemy-turned-fuck-buddy’s mail is on another level.

Lizard brain doth not give a fuck.

It needs an answer the instant I spot that envelope. Because even from here, frozen in the middle of Kai’s room, I can see it’s closed, but not sealed. That there’s something inside. Like a letter inside that was never sent.

I’m practically salivating by the time I reach it. I open it and slide out the letter without thinking.

Same handwriting along the top. Same greeting he always wrote at the start of his letters. Just a big fat ‘hi’ with way too many exclamation marks. God, he had serious golden retriever energy back then.

HI!!!

NEXT WEEK’S THE BIG DAY!

16!

GUESS I CAN’T CALL YOU “LITTLE” MISS HEAVENLY ANYMORE???

I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU. IT’S BEEN TOO LONG!

WE GOT ALOT TO TALK ABOUT.

GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU. HOPE YOU⁠—

It ends mid-sentence.

I turn over the page, but the back is blank.

I read it again.

Again.

When I fold up the letter and open the envelope to put it back inside, I feel something shift inside. I tip it over and stare at the delicate silver chain lying on my palm. There’s a tiny butterfly pendant, barely bigger than my thumbnail, its wings studded with two bright blue stones.

This was meant for me.

But he never sent it.

Why?

What made him stop writing mid-sentence? What made him fold up the letter and put it away? Why does he leave it lying out here in the open like it’s just another pamphlet for a party he forgot to throw away?

There’s a dull ache growing inside me.

The unfinished letter, the butterfly pendant—they feel too heavy in my shaking hand.

Kai had been excited to see me that day.

He even bought me jewelry.

If I ever had any doubt, here’s the proof that my green-eyed boy cared about me. So what the fuck happened?

Me. I happened.

I made him feel like shit because he wouldn’t take my virginity.

And then his brother poisoned him against me.