Page 51 of Changing Lanes

“Why do you treat me like this? I get sick of being your punching bag.” Slinging her hair over her shoulder, she rolls her eyes.

“Ava, we’ve been over this so many times. Don’t you ever get sick of us?” I’m bewildered at her train of thought.

“That’s why I date other guys because you’re an ass.” Standing, she crosses her arms over her chest.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be an ass to you, but you’ve gotta cut me a break. Ava, we haven’t been together in ten years, it’s time to move on,” I plead with her.

“Have you moved on? No. you’re still hung up on someone who doesn’t want you. Has she said she wants you? Or is it she just wants to fuck you, like the other night. Maybe I’m not the one who has it wrong.” She glares at me.

“No, I don’t know how she feels, but I know I love her. I don’t where I’ll be tomorrow or next week, but I know we’ll be friends.” I try to convince her we’ll be okay.

“What about your mom and Andi?” Now, she’s grasping at straws. “What happens to all of us when you leave?”

“I’m not leaving, damn it. Give me a fucking break, Ava.” Yelling at her only proves I’m an ass.

“Yeah, we’ll see about that because you know she’s not gonna stay here. So then, you can tell me what you will and won’t do.” She hurries from the barn as she leaves.

Fuck it. I’m sick of trying to do the right thing, being the bigger person. I need a timeout in the worst way. Picking up my keys, I drive back into town to finish some work. My plans are to clean up my desk and have a few beers.

Sitting at my new desk, I’m working on a new design when Hardy comes in from Thayer’s office. “Hey, man. What’s up.”

“Thayer had an appointment. I’m going over to the site now. One asked if you could look over the inspector’s papers.” Hardy sits in the chair to my side.

“They okay?” Motioning to Thayer’s office.

“Great. Baby’s growing and momma is perfect.” His face radiates happiness.

“Good, man. You deserve it.” I nod at him.

“How about you? Don’t you deserve it?” Hardy’s question hits me in the feels, I can barely control myself.

“You would think, right? But no, I guess I don’t. Ava refuses to see me as anything but hers. Torrie refuses to see me as hers.” Lowering my head to the desk, I bounce it off the hard surface a few times.

“Ava needs a man of her own, a good man. Not the trash she runs around with. Torrie, I don’t know what to say about her,” Hardy explains. “Thayer is the strong one between us. She’s the one who held out hope. I was like Torrie, didn’t think it would happen.”

“I’m beginning to believe it won’t for us,” I say resting my face on the desk. “Fuck it. I’m going for some beer, hit me up later.” Standing, I grab my keys.

“I’ll swing by, where you gonna be?” Hardy asks.

“Deckerz,” I reply.

“I’ll grab One.” Hardy walks out with me as we go our separate ways.

Two hours later, I’m too far gone to leave when One and Hardy show up. I’ve drowned my sorrows with some shots from a bottle of Beam, I’m ready to forget everything. They approach me at the bar, taking seats on each side.

“Gentlemen.” I put on my best sober, only slurring a little.

“Dude, your shit-faced,” Hardy says as he motions to the bartender.

“I am. Fuck women. Fuck all the women,” I say, turning my head from side to side to talk to them.

“Now, come on. You don’t mean that,” One says as he trades my liquor in for water.

“I’m not entirely drunk. I know what I’m saying when I say I want to fuck that woman.” The room spins when I close my eyes. “I mean, I want her to fuck me.” There, fixed it.

“Okay. Who are we talking about?” Hardy pushes a cup of coffee to me.

“Torrence. Torrence Harrington.” I throw her name out like vomit.