42
SERENITY
On Monday morning, I went into the office early. Business was really starting to take off, and despite passing on the reality show, I’d been busier than ever.
Which was awesome, considering that it didn’t leave me with much time to think about Dash. It was hard to believe that it had already been two weeks since I’d last seen him. In some ways, it felt like a decade had passed, and in others, it was like I could still feel the ghost of his touch on my skin like it’d been this morning that we’d last been together.
Shaking my head at myself, I tried to force him out of my brain. I missed him something awful, but that was ridiculous. I needed to get over it. It wasn’t like we’d had some epic love. It’d been a couple months off and on. Nothing worth pining over for this freaking long.
On the plus side, Ethan hadn’t reached out again. Dash had been so convincing when he’d spoken to that reporter that it seemed even my ex had believed him. My heart was broken because of that same damn quote, but I supposed I should’ve been a little bit grateful for Dash being so convincing about us not meaning anything to each other.
Just the thought of it all made my stomach turn. I refused to talk to Dash unless it was about the wedding, but every time anything happened—good or bad—he was the first person I wanted to tell. I’d been so tempted so many times to answer when he’d reached out, but I just didn’t want to go there again.
I couldn’t. He’d already become too important to me. Last week, for example, I’d been featured in a popular bridal magazine as a planner to watch, and when they’d called to set up an interview, I’d almost messaged him about it before I’d even put down the phone.
On a similar note, I’d found a few new apartments to view and I’d nearly sent him the links to all of them to get his opinion. Maybe it’d been too soon after the divorce or maybe I really had fallen for him, but it felt like I was missing a limb without him around and that couldn’t be healthy.
I was determined to find my feet, on my own without either Ethan or Dash around to pick me up—or knock me down. Diana’s wedding was only a week away. The biggest wedding of my career. The first I’d have planned myself from start to finish and the one that had to go off without a hitch. I couldn’t afford to be missing a limb—or my brain—right now, which meant I just had to suck it up and get on with my life.
As I sat with her folder open on my computer, I added a few last-minute details she’d emailed to me over the weekend. I could practically see Dash’s hand in some of them, but I did my best to ignore it. It didn’t matter that he’d been there when she’d been making these decisions.
He was her son and I’d known all along that he was helping her. It didn’t make a difference that he still was. All I had to do was to record these decisions as well and then carry on with putting the finishing touches on the planning.
Dragging in a deep breath, I was in the process of working my way through the last few items on her email when my phone rang. The name of the catering service we used came up and my heart skipped. Excitement raced through me.
The head chef was supposed to be calling today about the delivery of all the high-end ingredients we’d ordered and I couldn’t wait to hear what he thought about the quality.
“Give me good news, Byron,” I said as I picked up. “How is the ribeye?”
A throat cleared at the other end of the line. “It’s not Byron, Ms. Halverson. My name is Felicia and I’m his sous chef.”
My stomach plummeted to the middle of the earth. What happened now?! “Where is Byron?”
“Well, uh, that’s why I’m calling,” she rushed out. “He slammed his hand in the car door this morning and it broke a few of the bones in his fingers. He’s going to be out for the next month at least, and that means I’m going to be taking over for him.”
My eyes shuttered closed and my heart stuttered. Inhaling and exhaling deeply a few times, I remembered she was still waiting for me to say something and I forced myself to sound calm and understanding.
“Thank you for letting me know, Felicia. Are you up for catering the St. Clair wedding next week without him?”
“Yes, ma’am,” she said without any hesitation. “I’ve been working on it with him since the beginning and the ingredients have arrived. We’re ready to start prep. I just wanted to let you know about Byron before we did anything in case you weren’t satisfied with me taking over.”
Well, I’d really rather you didn’t, but I don’t have much of a choice, do I?“Just keep me in the loop and if you need help, be honest about it. It’s absolutely imperative that nothing goes wrong with that wedding, Felicia. Do you understand?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Wonderful. Thanks again for letting me know.” I hung up the phone after she’d said her goodbyes with a terrible sense of dread spreading through my insides.
Felicia sounded confident enough that she could handle the wedding, but I was so tired of having to call Dash and Diana with bad news. So many things had already gone wrong and I couldn’t believe it’d happened again.
Pressure stung my eyeballs and made them hurt, but I couldn’t cry. Not when the client didn’t even know about the latest incident just yet. Not when that client was Dash, who’d told me just weeks ago not to take this stuff personally.
I was starting to take it very fucking personally, though. Why is this happening?
Despair, frustration, worry, and anger whipped around in my soul, fighting for dominance as my fingers rolled into fists. Letting my head drop forward, I swallowed a scream and focused on my breathing instead.
It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be fine.
As long as I could convince myself of that, I would get through this. I was just struggling to believe it since all the damn signs were pointing to it not beingfine.