Page 85 of Some Kinda Romance

He chuckled, leaning back with a satisfied smile on his face. “My first serious girlfriend played competitively.”

“Did you play competitively too?” I asked, thinking back at some of the moves he’d pulled and realizing that it sure seemed possible that he might’ve.

He chuckled. “No, I did not, but we met in college and dated for five years. Her brothers and her father were always trying to beat her, so we spent a good chunk of our time between classes in pool halls. Eventually, I got roped into the sport. It’s been a while, though.”

“It doesn’t look like it’s been that long,” I replied. “You don’t seem to have lost the skill, that’s for sure.”

He shrugged, his gaze suddenly far away as he stared out ahead of him. “She was my first true love and she took pool so seriously that it became part of me too. It really has been a while, but it’s in my blood now. It has been for a long time.”

Listening to him, I realized there was so much I still didn’t know about Richard. “What happened between you? Did you marry her?”

“No, unfortunately not,” he said, glancing at me before he shrugged again. “I would have, but life took us in different directions. A couple years after we graduated, she got offered a job in Manhattan. It was a hell of an opportunity and I encouraged her to take it.”

“You couldn’t go with her?”

He shook his head. “Not at the time. When she went, we thought it’d only be a few months and then I’d be able to join her, but it never happened.”

“Why not?”

“Life,” he said. “Work. Money. You name it, and I used it as an excuse at the time.”

Something about what he’d said struck a chord with me and I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I should have told her how I really felt. I never did, but I’ve always wondered what might have happened if I had. If I hadn’t just let her go.”

“But you said it was a great opportunity. You had to let her go.”

“To Manhattan, yes, but that’s not what I was talking about. She had to take the job. I’d never have been able to live with myself if I’d kept her from going, but I didn’t have to let her go completely. I certainly didn’t have to use all those excuses to stay behind. I never even told her that she was my first true love. Time and distance came between us and I figured the ship had sailed.”

I winced. “That sucks. I’m sorry. Do you still wonder what might’ve happened?”

“Not anymore,” he said softly before he turned to look at me again. Since I was driving after having had all that whiskey, I couldn’t risk a glance at him, but I felt him staring at me. “I only stopped wondering after I met your mother. Before that though, sure, I was still wondering at least once a day how my life might’ve been.”

My eyebrows climbed higher on my forehead. “But you were with her in college. That’s a long time to wonder. You never looked her up?”

“No, but I heard she got married a few years after we broke up. I was tempted to try to find her a few times, but ultimately, I missed my shot and I lived most of my life with regrets because of it. Trust me, son, you don’t want to live with regrets. Life doesn’t always give you a second chance at something.”

I paused, hesitating because I wasn’t sure what to say. I could still feel Richard staring at me, though. He sighed. “If you love someone, really love them, you owe it to yourself to tell them how you feel. You owe it to them, too.”

“But if you can’t give them what they need?” he went on when I still hadn’t said anything. “If you can’t give them what they deserve or if you won’t? You owe it to them to let them go. No excuses. No regrets. Last I heard, Patricia had a wonderful life. She has kids. Grandkids. Her husband gave her what I couldn’t and I’m thankful for that.”

My heart hammered against my ribs, my face heating as I put two and two together. He was warning me about regrets because he knew something was up with Serenity, and the more I processed what he’d said, the more I wondered what I would be telling some thirty-something when I was his age.

Would I be talking about the risks I took or the regrets I had? Would I still be wondering what might’ve been with Serenity or would I finally have met someone else?

Swallowing hard, I was relieved when Richard’s house came into view. There might be a lot I didn’t know about this man, but I had a feeling there was also a lot I could learn from him. I just desperately needed some time to process what I already had learned from him.

I didn’t want to live with regrets. As we drove onto his property, I knew that much for an absolute fact. I didn’t want to live with regrets, but I already was, and I had no idea if it was too late for me to do something about it.