Page 105 of All for Love

“It makes more sense than you think,” he said before nodding at me to continue.

Since I’d asked myself this question many times, I knew what to say. I just didn’t think I was ever going to be able to say it to him. Kaden had always been my confidant, though. A lot of people might have laughed at me for what I was about to admit, but I knew he wouldn’t.

If he really was able to be rational about this, then I knew he’d hear me out. He’d hear me out, mask his surprise, and then support me. That was just what we did. Once we finally got on the same page, anyway, but he would never laugh at me.

“When I look at her, I see the future. I see children, a real home of our own full of laughter and candid pictures in mismatching frames, a dog, and a messy kitchen.” I smiled and took another drag of the cigar. “I guess it’s just that she’s full of possibilities for me.”

Kaden’s brow was smooth as he turned it over in his head before he glanced at me. “She’s really making you think about all those things?”

“All that and more,” I admitted. “That’s the thing, though. Nobody has ever made me think about the future like that. They’ve never made me crave their company, but it’s different with Mercedes. I think about her endlessly. Daydream about her.”

I put the cigar out and shook my head. “I know it’s dumb and I know I should have stopped myself from getting so caught up in her, but I couldn’t help it. It just happened.”

“In that way where it feels inevitable, right?”

“Yep. Completely unavoidable. Especially because I didn’t realize there would be anything for me to avoid.”

Kaden stubbed his cigar out next to mine. “Yeah, I get that.”

I cocked my hip against the railing and turned to him. “I’m an ass for doing this to our family. I know that. I also know that Dad will probably never forgive me, but I thought I had a better handle on it. I thought I was in control, but I wasn’t.”

“Neither was she?” he guessed.

I nodded, feeling the urge to protect her rise up from the deepest recesses of my soul. “When we realized what was happening, we tried to stop it. Both of us. We never wanted to hurt you, or Dad, or Margaux. It just happened, and it wasn’t malicious or intentional. Fuck, do you really think either of us would’ve chosen to fall head over heels for literally the only person on the planet we can’t ever have a relationship with?”

His gaze moved from one of my eyes to the other. “Not unless you’re a complete sadist. Or masochist. I always forget which is which, but the point is that I don’t think you would’ve chosen it. I do think it’s real, though. I believe you.”

My jaw slackened, but then I shrugged and swigged the last of my ice-cold cocoa. It was disgusting, but apparently, so was I. “Thanks, but it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s over. Everyone else is happy, and she and I will eventually get over this. Maybe. It doesn’t feel like we will, but we have to, right? Like, eventually, it’s not going to hurt so bad anymore?”

Kaden sighed and put a hand on my shoulder. “Maybe you won’t have to find out. Look, I’m sorry for overreacting. I’m sorry for the part Brooke and I played in the pain you’re feeling right now, and I’m really fucking sorry for not listening to you properly before.”

“Again, thanks. That means a lot, but what’s done is done.”

“Sure, but it can be undone. Maybe. I don’t know, but it definitely will be done if you don’t fight to undo it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“A Christmas miracle,” he said. “There might just be enough time left for us to make it happen.”