Page 79 of A Lie so Pretty and Poisonous

Dreams of heartache, betrayal, lies, and longing.

Roses overflowed from three large crystal vases. The room thickened with their perfumed aroma. The only time I had seen more flowers than this was at my mother’s garden party. The party where I turned down Terren’s attempts at courting me, solidifying many unpleasant years as the focus of his disdain. Now, they were sitting before me as a type of offering to either ease Gabriel’s guilt or to try to woo me. Maybe both. Maybe neither. I could never tell with him.

Pink. They were all variations of pink. I knew immediately who they were from when Cora jumped excitedly onto our bed, exclaiming that there were “so many pink flowers in our room!”

A folded note with my name on it sat in front of one of the vases.

Rory,

My behavior last night was most unbecoming. I lost control of my urges. It has deepened my understanding of how much I am enamored with you, and I vow to put forth the effort of controlling myself better until you are ready.

I wish for you and Cora to accompany me to the Temple of Themis today for worship. I’ll arrive to escort you both an hour after afternoon tea.

Yours truly,

Gabriel

So typical. At least I knew that he wasn’t about to toss Cora and me out of the castle.

Going to the Temple of Themis felt like a punishment, too. I prayed to any and all deities that I wouldn’t have to atone.

Cora smelled the flowers. “Who are they from, Mom?”

“Gabriel,” I dryly said.

“Oh.” Her face fell. “I was hoping they were from the captain.”

My head snapped to Cora. “Why is that, sweet girl?”

“I like him,” she shrugged. “He doesn’t talk a whole lot, but every time he would walk me to and from my schooling or activities, he would make sure to slip a caramel candy into my hand.” Cora giggled a little like she had revealed a secret. “Once in a while, he would tell me a silly joke, too. Always asked about my day and if everyone treats me well.”

“He is kind, isn’t he?” I thought back to finding the candy wrappers a few days ago and wondered where in the underworld she was getting sweets from. I had forgotten to ask about it. The discarded wrappers disappeared once Gabriel came back and Darragh returned to his normal duties.

He was good to my daughter, even in his own quiet way, and it made my stomach sink with the realization that he had always been looking out for us.

A light rap came from the door, and Anya stepped into the room. “My! What gorgeous flowers. Someone has an admirer.”

I tightly smiled, and Anya looked into my puffy eyes before turning to Cora. “How about you wash up and pick a dress out for the day while I visit with your mother for a few minutes? We can have breakfast in the room today.” She whispered to Cora, “I brought pancakes.”

Cora took off in a flash. I silently handed Anya the note.

She flung his letter onto a table when she finished reading. “What did he do? Your emotions are all over the place, even now, and last night I had to tune out of my enchant because of how much you flooded it.”

I couldn’t keep my act up about Gabriel. I didn’t have it in me, especially after last night. So, I told Anya everything. The mead recipe theory about the threshing wall, the rumors about the humans being trafficked to Tironaill, my assault, Gabriel in the sparring room, asking Cora and me to stay, his treatment of Darragh, the ball, how Darragh had to pull him off of me last night, and then finally Darragh coming to my room and how we left things. Maybe I shouldn’t have trusted her, but I did. I needed her opinions and support, and the only way I could do that was if I put some trust in her.

“That bastard,” she whispered so Cora couldn't hear us. “Are you alright?”

“Yes. I am more ashamed than anything that I gave in to Gabriel like I did. I feel like I’m horrible for leading him on when I don’t share his feelings, and I still plan on finding a way back to Edenalee. I feel worse now that Darragh hates me.” My shoulders slumped, and I chewed the inside of my cheek.

“You have been in survival mode since arriving here and have a youngling to think about. Noble life is all about a game of strategy, and you are doing what any other woman would do here. Do not feel guilty about that,” Anya reprimanded. I breathed out a sigh of relief with Anya’s validation. She grabbed my hands. “I can feel your emotions when Gabriel is around or when we talk about him. You constantly feel conflicted, on edge, and annoyed.”

“Yes,” I confirmed. “He saved Cora and me and brought us here to help, and I feel horrible that I can’t return his feelings.”

“You don’t owe anyone shared feelings. No matter what they have done for you. Gabriel should be doing these things because it is the right thing to do, not to get something in return. I have known Gabriel for a long time. He is calculated, power-hungry, and thinks too highly of himself.” Anya paused, contemplating her next words. “When he is around you, I can feel his lust and a sort of giddiness, but I don’t feel the love, admiration, and respect for you coming off him like he should. He is holding something back. An emotion I can’t quite place.”

I sighed. “I never need or want Gabriel’s attention or affections. I only wanted his help.”

“Darragh, on the other hand,” she continued, “now there is something to him. He tries to shield himself from my enchant because he is private, which I respect. But every time he is in your presence, his emotions get the better of him, and so do yours. He drops his shields around you. I watched you two dance last night. Let’s just say that both of you radiated some intense feelings, and I had a hard time gauging who was feeling what because they were both similar and strong.”